Video game review by ERIK LEIJON

After playing 50 Cent: Bulletproof (PS2, Xbox/Vivendi, Genuine) virtually all of the good tidings brought about by the holiday season have been annihilated. This game ruins what, in theory, could be a fairly interesting license: the graphics are terrible, the control scheme unplayable and the level design uninspired. Not to mention the discomfort you feel playing what the box purports to being “The ultimate 50 Cent experience.” Apparently that entails a life of Mortal Kombat-style fatalities and rocket launchers.

Honestly, after watching the well-constructed intro movie (which features both in-game scenes and music video footage), my interest was piqued. This game could have been a Grand Theft Auto copycat, but instead feels like a rushed product based on one poorly conceived idea.

The sad reality is that Bulletproof is not fun to play at all. It’s as if it was quickly put together in time for the holidays, despite the fact that the control scheme was in desperate need of an overhaul. Shooting bad guys, which is essentially 100 per cent of the game, is far more difficult than it needs to be. This is partially due to the awkward fixed camera angle, but also because the firing reticule is a pain to use.

Then there are the truly bland enemy characters, who look like they come from a different game entirely. They’re supposed to represent the most powerful gangs in New York City, but they look like a cross between Sam Fisher and the foot soldiers from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The character design doesn’t improve later on, although Fiddy and his G-Unit cohorts look nice, and cameos from Eminem and Dr. Dre are quite enjoyable (especially since Em plays a detective). Needless to say, all of the voiceovers sound phoned-in, but at least they sound like the real rappers.

What is also shocking is that the music, which is presumably what this game is primarily about, feels like an afterthought. The actual rap songs used during cutscenes are okay, but during the game you are subjected to an endless looping of some fairly lame samples that likely weren’t good enough for his albums.

Still, nothing quite compares to the non-stop violence of Bulletproof, which had me feeling a tad uncomfortable due to its context. In what is supposed to be an ode to the rapper’s life, which as everyone knows involves him being shot nine times, his thirst and love of violence is disconcerting. He’ll happily run up to an enemy, stab him in the throat, and with blood gushing everywhere say aloud, “Sometimes I impress myself.” The random comments from his crew are also good for a chuckle, especially when Tony Yayo (at least I think it’s him) frantically yells out, “You’re a wanksta!” as he lets the bullets fly.

The game was “written” by Sopranos executive producer Terry Winter, a move that may add some street cred, but in the gaming world means jack all. Genuine Games could have added more strategic elements (possibly even some Lost Vikings-esque puzzle gaming), but this rushed title will fail to impress both fans and haters.

Girls Night Out

The first IGDA (International Game Developers Association) meeting of the year is a women’s only event at the SAT (1195 St-Laurent) on Thursday, January 12, at 7 p.m. This would be a good opportunity for any aspiring female game developer to talk with women who are already in the industry.

DJs Cyan and Liberty will be performing and it costs $5 for non-members to get in.