In the land of cartoon politicians, it shouldn’t be a big deal that Jonathon Sharkey, 41, of Princeton, Minnesota, will run as an independent for governor in the coming election. This is, after all, the state that elected Jesse Ventura. What makes Sharkey stand out from the other candidates, however, is his thirst for blood—a kind different from your average Republican. Sharkey claims to be a vampire, the very kind “you see in the movies and TV.”

Though a Satanist, Sharkey says he’s respectful of all religions and doesn’t hate Jesus. He does, however, “hate God the Father.” His campaign promises include bringing Minnesota’s National Guardsmen home from Iraq, giving farmers a tax cut and seeing that anyone found to commit terrorist acts in his state is impaled by him personally on the front lawn of the capitol building. While some think Sharkey’s bid is a publicity stunt, he insists that voters will choose him.

“When they see I am kind-hearted and care for them,” Sharkey said, “I think they’ll overlook my personal and religious beliefs.”

» Scott Saxon