by RAF KATIGBAK

New York City isn’t such a scary place. Sure, it’s huge and there are like a gazillion people crammed onto a tiny island, and everyone who lives here feels like it’s the epicentre of the free world, and sometimes you can’t hear yourself think over the honking, jackhammering, blaring music and yelling, but man, can they ever make a knish!

Actually, most of my time has been spent exploring Brooklyn’s Williamsburg sector, or as I like to call it, Mile-End on ’roids. Much like the Parc/St-Viateur nexus back home, Williamsburg has Hassids and hipsters living side by side, a place where design meets devout and Maccabee meets Mac addict. Every day, the L train (also known to the jaded as “the fashion train”) excretes a torrent of angular hair, thigh-high boots and assorted, accessorized young men and women at the main Bedford station.

But it’s not so much the sheer number of chic people in New York that makes it daunting as the number of quality events to check out every single night of the week. For example, last week alone you could catch sets by Vitalic, Sa-Ra Creative Partners, the Juan Maclean, DJ Ayres and Low Budget, Afrika Bambaataa, Kurtis Blow, DJ Assault or Jazzanova. Heck, if one were feeling particularly homesick, you could even catch Montrealer Frivolous rocking the third anniversary of techno happening the Bunker at Subtonic.

So what are you gonna do? Well, you could blow a couple hundred bucks going out, taking cabs, buying drinks and paying a cover (which happens faster than you can say “taxi!” in the Big Apple), or you can stay home, curled up in a foetal position, rocking yourself to sleep while mumbling, “Too much to see...” over and over.

Luckily, I compromised and spent some time bouncing between watering holes on the still-happening Lower East Side. It was there I met up with some Brooklynites recently transplanted from Montreal, and we discussed the differences between the two cities. “New Yorkers talk a lot about doing shit,” said one former Plateau dweller. “Montrealers actually have time to get shit done.”

For the most part, that’s true, and perhaps the fact that we don’t have insane acts coming every single night is actually a blessing in disguise. Thanks to the relatively low cost of living in Montreal, we work less and get to devote our energies to silly things like “making art.” Then again, it seems everyone in New York is an artist.

For whatever reason, Montreal still rules, and here are some reasons why: Thursday nights are booty-shakin’, dirty-disco, electro, crunk and grime nights at Death by Disco at Lolita (96 Sherbrooke W.), with DJs Emmanuelle and Scott Roberts. Promises to be off the chain. For some real noise, catch Martin Tétreault, Kriss and Grkzgl on Saturday night for an evening of abrasive, brutal ambience (family fun!). It’s only five bucks, e-mail grkzgl@gmail.com for location. And finally, keep your ears to the ground for a new big-room 12-inch by Rennie Foster on Saboteur and the new remix CD by Ghislain Poirier, Bounce le Remix, featuring huge reworkings of Jay-Z, Missy, Snoop and more! Huge.

IF I CAN MAKE IT THERE... Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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