Sarah Rowland’s Top picks

1. Kung Fu Hustle This chopsocky comedy is definitive proof that writer/director/actor Stephen Chow is a comic genius in every sense of the word. Here he combines Looney Tunes-inspired slapstick with dry English wit and still manages to stay loyal to his cameo regs—something fans of the nose-picking drag queen will appreciate.

2. Head-On This volatile yet strangely beautiful love story about two German Turks who meet in a psych ward is bound to tug on your heart strings, especially if you’re the kind of hopeless romantic who considers wrist-slashing foreplay.

3. C.R.A.Z.Y. Jean-Marc Vallée’s brilliant family dramedy follows one man’s lifelong struggle to convince his dad that he’s not gay, he’s just new wave.

4. It’s All Gone Pete Tong How do you top a mock doc about a headbanger who loses one of his nads to the big C? You do as FUBAR director Michael Dowse did and make an even funnier comedy about a DJ who loses his hearing.

5. The March of the Penguins Who would have guessed these pinheads could offer a model for a perfectly egalitarian society, where parental duties are split 50/50 and shelter from the cold is evenly distributed among the entire population? Animal lovers (as well as conservative leaders) would benefit from renting this masterfully shot South Pole doc.

6. Brokeback Mountain Ang Lee truly is the king of pain. Not since his Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon has there been so much heart-wrenching longing between two characters in one movie. To boot, he tops it all off with Dylan’s “He Was a Friend of Mine.” Bastard.

7. Capote Much has already been said about Philip Seymour Hoffman’s performance—that’s to be expected. He’s brilliant. But what I want to know is where the hell did Clifton Collins Jr. come from? His portrayal of Kansas killer Perry Smith is chilling, touching and oddly arousing.

8. Oldboy Leave it to South Korea’s master of macabre, Park Chan-wook, to make a movie that can turn you off sushi, scare you out of ever seeing a dentist again and make you never look at your father the same way. In other words, this ultra-violent tale of revenge is perfect holiday viewing the whole family can enjoy!

9. King Kong Sure, Peter Jackson could have done something altruistic with his $200-million budget, like open a filmmaking collective for underprivileged kids and still have enough left over to feed a small nation. But hey, once you get a load of that kick-ass CGI-enhanced ape, not to mention the Brontosaurus pile-up, all your socialist ideals will go out the digital window.

10. 3-Iron Save for a few savage golf club beatings, Kim Ki-duk’s quiet love story is not for the A.D.D. set. But those patient enough to ride out this virtually wordless gem will be rewarded with one of the sweetest on-screen kisses this year.

Honorable mentions: Best directorial debuts go to Phil Morrison’s southern charmer Junebug and Miranda July’s Me and You and Everyone We Know. Most disturbing rape scene since John Travolta sat back and watched Finola Hughes get gang-banged in Staying Alive goes to Gregg Araki’s hustler drama Mysterious Skin. (This film also gets a nod for most surprising performance from a sitcom actor, i.e. the 3rd Rock From the Sun kid Joseph Gordon-Levitt.) And the best lesbian-love-gone-wrong movie has to be Pawel Pawlikowski’s My Summer of Love. Finally, the best home-wrecking chemistry goes to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for illuminating every frame of Mr. & Mrs Smith with that freshly fucked glow.

Bottom Five

1. Childstar So we’re supposed to buy that Don McKellar is a limo driver with a heart of gold who sincerely wants to save a spoiled Hollywood brat from the evils of show biz? Don’t think so.

2. Elizabethtown Two words for you: Air photography. That’s right, among the many "quirky" traits that Kirsten Dunst’s character possesses in Cameron Crowe’s dud, the worst has to be her incessant need to click an imaginary camera every time she wants to remember a special moment. Say CHEEZE!

3. My Date with Drew No doubt Barrymore pumped up her security after watching the final cut of what is basically a how-to-stalk instructional video.

4. XXX: State of the Union This thinly veiled excuse to showcase as many souped-up ghettomobiles as possible left me with a series of questions racing through my mind: Will Pimp My Ride get a cut for this, does Willem Dafoe have some gambling debts, and is Jackson back on the pipe?

5. Must Love Dogs/Cake/The Wedding Date Honestly, how hard is it to throw together a decent romcom? Well, judging by these John Cusack, Heather Graham and Debra Messing disasters, damn near impossible.

Matthew Hays’s Top Picks

1. Capote Philip Seymour Hoffman is simply remarkable as the late scribe Truman Capote—but so is this film. Yes, he looks sort of like a gay Muppet, but if you’ve ever seen actual footage of Capote, you’ll know that Hoffman has nailed him perfectly.

2. A History of Violence David Cronenberg’s affecting family melodrama/mob revenge tale features great acting and a good deal of suspense. It is also noteworthy for its moral ambiguity: Is this film endorsing violence under certain circumstances? Can a killer really be redeemed?

3. Breakfast on Pluto Cillian Murphy is superb as the Irish trannie caught up in terrorist troubles in the ’60s and ’70s. Complete with ironic cameo by Stephen Rea. After a bit of a lapse, Neil Jordan is again in top form.

4. It’s All Gone Pete Tong It was high time someone took the piss out of the cult of the DJ. Who better to do it than the man behind FUBAR.

5. King Kong Peter Jackson managed to breathe new life into the big hairy one. Naomi Watts is the new object of his affection, and she carries it off very well. It’s no Meet the Feebles, but Kong is hugely entertaining. A highlight is the Brontosaurus chase scene.

6. Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room An alarming exposé on the collapse of one of America’s largest corporations. While showing us the nuts and bolts, the filmmakers also manage to reveal the story’s political underpinnings. You may want to shower after watching this.

7. C.R.A.Z.Y. Quebec’s breakout hit of the year, this is a delightful coming-of-age story that gently reflects Quebec’s own social evolution. As some critics have noted, it’s perhaps a wee bit too long, but who can complain about watching Marc-André Grondin?

8. Heights A smart, funny and unassuming little movie about a group of Manhattanites whose lives intertwine in unexpected ways. Glenn Close shines as an overbearing, dictatorial theatre impresario. The audition scene, in which an actor asks if a character is meant to be gay, is a standout.

9. Kung Fu Hustle I really did not expect to enjoy this film as much as I did—Kung Fu Hustle is much less a martial arts movie than it is an ode to the zany spirit of Tex Avery cartoons.

10. War of the Worlds He’s been called America’s most optimistic director, but here, once more, Spielberg proves he can go dark. The ending is ludicrous, but hey, you can’t have everything. Okay, so Tom Cruise’s opinions are more than a bit odd: here, he does actually act.

Honourable mentions: George Clooney for becoming the Warren Beatty of the new millennium, making Good Night, and Good Luck and Syriana in one year. Mysterious Skin, one of the creepiest films of the year. Most Uneven Script of 2005: Crash, which packed the sublime, the silly and the downright idiotic into one screenplay. Saddest comeback: Jane Fonda returned to star in Monster-in-Law. The former box-office star, who made thoughtful social-issue movies throughout the ’70s, deserved better than this. Blunder of the year: The World Film Festival’s handling of the Karla controversy, setting the dreadful precedent of allowing corporate sponsor Air Canada to dictate their screening list. Daring-do award: Ang Lee for putting same-sex romance at the centre of Brokeback Mountain.

Bottom five

1. Derailed An utterly idiotic who’s-screwing-who suspense movie. A genre that went ripe and rotten long ago.

2. In Her Shoes Chicks should string up the folks behind this insulting chick flick. Cameron Diaz’s shtick is getting really, really tired.

3. Hide and Seek Not that we needed any more evidence on the point, but boy, this makes clear that De Niro has become one heckuva ho.

4. Bee Season A New Agey exploration of one family’s spiritual journey. Almost impossible to believe it was made by the same team behind The Deep End.

5. The Devil’s Rejects A sad turn for Rob Zombie, this is a truly boring, gratuitous slasher movie. Horror movies need guts, not just blood!

Mark Slutsky’s Top Picks

1. Capote Philip Seymour Hoffman, always a joy, gives perhaps the best performance of the year as the legendary writer in this story of ambition, writing and emotional complication that steers mostly clear of biopic cliché. A quiet, funny and affecting movie with beautiful period touches—lots of dark-wood bookcases and camel’s hair coats.

2. War of the Worlds Steven Spielberg’s best movie in some time might suffer from a terrible, terrible, last five minutes (and a little too much time in Tim Robbins’ basement), but it’s otherwise an awesome and terrifying spectacle—an alien invasion story told with a shaky camera and ant’s-eye-view perspective, which makes it all the scarier.

3. The Squid and the Whale A painful, painful, hilarious story of divorce and spite among the intellectual class in ’80s Park Slope, Brooklyn. Jeff Daniels’ self-obsessed patriarch is one of the year’s sharpest and most fearless performances.

4. Hours two and three of King Kong The world didn’t really need an update of the 1933 classic, but if it has to be done, Peter Jackson is the right man for the job. Although the first hour is almost entirely unnecessary, the final two-thirds of the movie are pretty much thrilling through-and-through. Plus: Naomi Watts at her most adorable.

5. Oldboy Park Chan-wook’s bizarro story of imprisonment, revenge, incest and unorthodox dentistry has the year’s best fight scene (though it isn’t an action movie) and the most painfully Grand Guignol climax. That combined with the movie’s deadpan matter-of-factness makes it one of the year’s more weirdly entertaining movies.

6. Syriana A tangled web of oil, politics, Islam, terrorism and corruption, illuminated by director (and Traffic screenwriter) Stephen Gaghan. Worth seeing for its cast alone, including a big old bearded George Clooney, and Matt Damon, who’s really consistently great these days.

7. A History of Violence David Cronenberg is no stranger to the intermingling of sex and violence, and his latest is an understated and frequently upsetting study of both. Viggo Mortensen’s enigmatic intensity and the film’s casual trauma are both fascinating and difficult.

8. The Aristocrats Watching dozens of comedians go to town on this allegedly legendary backstage joke—gleefully competing to outdo each other in sheer comical vulgarity—made for some of the most concentrated hilarity of the year. Special props to Sarah Silverman, Bob Saget, and the legendary Gilbert Gottfried.

9. La Niña santa (The Holy Girl) From Argentinean director Lucrecia Martel, a strangely hypnotic would-be morality play that comes across more as a fascinating jumble of impressions, visual, auditory and otherwise. The impression is of always being in the middle of a crowd, and it’s both bewildering and exhilarating.

10. Les États nordiques The debut feature from Montreal filmmaker (and, full disclosure, former ICI film editor) Denis Côté is a frosty mix of documentary and fiction set in a Hydro-Québec settlement in the province’s far north. A confident and visually beautiful film.

Honourable mentions: If Katsuhito Ishii’s funny, moving and brilliant The Taste of Tea had shown in general release this year (instead of just at Fantasia), it probably would have made number one on my list. George Clooney ably revives the days of Edward R. Murrow (and McCarthyism) in Good Night, and Good Luck. Sin City’s frame-by-frame recreation of Frank Miller’s comics was both fascinating and horrifying. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo was the second-funniest grossout of the year right after The Aristocrats. If it had better action scenes, Batman Begins would’ve made the top 10 for sure. The Legend of Zorro was an extremely entertaining action comedy, as was Kung Fu Hustle, while Zathura was 2005’s smartest and most fun family flick.

Bottom five

1. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith Rest in peace, Star Wars. At least George Lucas’s systematic dismemberment of his once-great series is finally over, capped by this final fiasco. Lots to look at, nothing to see.

2. Elektra This sister film to the equally shitty Daredevil featured little more than Jennifer Garner lounging around in sweaters and hanging out with a spunky little girl. Senseless and pointless.

3. Be Cool A grimly unfunny and shrill sequel to Get Shorty, which was never all that. But at least it was more fun than this.

4. Casanova Heath Ledger stars in this shameless, tiring Shakespeare In Love ripoff.

5. The Pacifier Four words: “Vin Diesel’s Kindergarten Cop.”