M I was just reading the back of the Mirror and under lofts and studio spaces, there are some nice looking apartments for rent. However, it says on a number of these in very bold letters “No animals or musicians.” Boy, I’m a musician, I’m offended. If you’re a musician, shouldn’t you be offended? Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Okay, this is for the fucker who doesn’t know what EMO is. Emo is a bunch of pissy, whiny little bitches who don’t know what the hell to do with themselves so they make a band and they put out some crappy-ass album. That’s what emo is. So don’t ask again otherwise we’ll come and emo your ass. [BLEEP!]

M Emo is definitely NOT people who hang out at Foufounes Électriques. Emo was started in the mid-late-’80s with bands such as Judge, who were emotional hardcore, and Rites of Spring from D.C. and Still Life from California and Piebald. And emo is not a style, it’s a concept. So, basically, what you’re seeing now is not emo, it’s a co-option of a subculture that has been re-packaged and sold to people. [BLEEP!]

M Don’t you know that Dashboard Confessional started emo? Then you’ve got bands like Bright Eyes, Taking Back Sunday, Jesse Lacey, the All-American Rejects. Avril Lavigne is pop: P-O-P, okay? [BLEEP!]

M Hey, you know what a good emo band is in Montreal? CPC Gangbangs. CPC Gangbangs are pure emo. They’re so emo, man, they’re so, like, emotional. They CRY and stuff. I know it. [BLEEP!]

M To the chick who described the emos with RAZOR SHARP precision, I’m gonna take a couple of hits of acid and head down to the Foufs on Thursday night and I’d better see some fucking marshmallows! [BLEEP!]

F Hey, this is in response to the rant about emos and the hardcore Christian idiots. Me and my friends, we like to call them Punk Lite, like DIET PUNK. Some of the most hardcore people I know don’t even wear nail polish, barely show their tattoos, and got over their piercings four years ago. So watch out—it’s those who look the most hardcore that are the real wusses. And the most incognito? Well, they’re just fucking insane. [BLEEP!]

M Hello, this is Frank from the band Blessed by a Broken Heart. Regarding last week’s rant about the Christian hardcore kids and Blessed by A Broken Heart, I would like to thank you for the publicity, very much appreciated. I’m glad that you guys are talking about our band. Take care. [BLEEP!]

F Hello. I’m a Christian emo and, if you don’t like it, you could come and kill me so that I can get to PARADISE quicker and meet Jesus in person. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, it seems people forget the industry of hip hop is a BUSINESS like any other, so it is only right that artists get paid for the work whether they’re MCs, beat-makers or R&B vocalists. Whenever you see an artist collaborating with another, you best believe the artist got paid! Whether through the label or through the artist whose song he or she is guesting on. I don’t see how that can be perceived as irregular or used as a reason to downgrade the efforts of two of Montreal’s most hated and celebrated exports in the hip hop field? Money is the OIL that keeps the industry’s wheels in motion and for many artists, the cheques they collect through collaborations and such are the only other ways of generating revenue due to the lack of education or JAIL RECORDS—both obstacles in getting suitable occupations. While I can’t speak for Bless because I’m not really familiar with the situation, I can tell you that the whole label favour theory does not apply to my man Rugged Intellect because Kool G Rap is not signed to any label. And unlike many of today’s run-of-the-mill prostitute MCs, G Rap will not collaborate with you if you ain’t bringing skills, regardless of the dollar amount you offer him. That’s my piece. All right? Peace. [BLEEP!]

M Okay, this is to the American chick who said that jazz came from the HICKS. It’s all rock ’n’ roll! [BLEEP!]

M For the guy who says that he doesn’t agree with homosexuality. What does that mean? Do you agree with Mount Royal? Do you agree with the Saint Lawrence River? It’s not something you can agree with. It’s not like the Easter Bunny, your belief is not necessary. Later. [BLEEP!]

F This rant is for the girl who left the rant about the guy from Copies Concordia on de Maisonneuve and she said he was really hot and I have to say I agree! I think she’s talking about Dave—he’s the tall one with the FACIAL HAIR. Dave, girls at Copies Concordia think you’re really hot!! Thanks. [BLEEP!]

F To the girl who called about the fuckin’ copy guy at de Maisonneuve copy center. I just wanna say that I’m his girlfriend and fuckin’ fuck off, bitch! The only person that’ll be changing my TONER is him. Go home. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum