by MARK SLUTSKY

Usher has technically been a star for a long time now—his debut album was released when he was only 16, and he was born in 1978, so you do the math—but it was only really last year, with the release of his fifth album Confessions that he became a superstar. And while he has already appeared in quite a few movies (like The Faculty and She’s All That), the new DJ/mobster flick In the Mix is his first real starring vehicle and his first big-screen appearance since he blew up.

Usher (birth name: Usher Raymond IV), is a talented and clearly ambitious guy, and there’s no denying he has an affable screen presence. But he did not choose well here. Maybe he took the part before the release of Confessions and its inescapable single “Yeah!” Whatever his reason, In the Mix is a grade-A turkey, a tired and depressing mish-mash of various tired and depressing genres.

The film starts in the club, where Usher is busy entertaining the crowd. You see, our man’s a much-in-demand DJ, and he’s soon approached by a pair of mobsters who want him to play a welcome-home party for their boss’s daughter (a tired-looking Chazz Palminteri plays the capo, Emmanuelle Chriqui is his offspring). Seems that Usher is a longstanding friend of the family (and in turn, the Family), and at the party, saves Palminteri from a drive-by shooting. This is the first in a series of plot contrivances leading to our hero ending up, very improbably, as Chriqui’s bodyguard. And... they’re attracted to each other, there’s some bad guys running around... I think we’ve spent enough time on the plot. It’s not that interesting.

Nor is the movie as a whole. Presumably this is supposed to be a comedy, but it doesn’t seem like anyone’s even attempting to make any jokes. Unless concepts like overweight mobsters and smelly dogs still count as comedy these days. There’s nothing spectacularly offensive about In the Mix, beyond its total banality and boringness, but surely Usher (let alone Palminteri) can do better than “inoffensive.”

In the Mix opens Friday, Dec. 2

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