by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Geneviève and Valérie Anne Gagnon

Age: 31

Occupation: Proprietors of La Fourmi Bionique

Bio: When these delicious and delightful Plateau broads decided to launch la Fourmi Bionique together less than two short years ago, they knew who they were dealing with, having laboured side by side in their father’s West Island dep for most of their teenage years. Identical twins, just in case you didn’t notice, Geneviève says she’s the “more savvy, money-saving business woman” of the two, while Valérie is the somewhat more “outgoing and flirty” twin who deals primarily with their customers. They say they never covertly sleep with each other’s boyfriends.

What’s a Fourmi Bionique? Only the brand name of the finest organic granola cereals and scooby snacks this side of the Gatineau. A quintessentially local operation initially launched out of Geneviève’s apartment—involving months of painstaking research developing the tastiest, healthiest, organic granola one could ever hope to ingest—la Fourmi Bionique has since grown to the point where the sisters’ products are now widely available “partout au Quebec.” Learn about all this and more at www.lafourmibionique.com.

Do they like to dress in exactly the same outfits or do they realize this is almost impossibly goofy and un-cool—not to mention creepy? “Nah, maybe we’ll do that on Halloween sometimes, but only to freak people out.”

Is there an evil triplet lurking somewhere? Not a triplet, per se, but they do have an older sister who is just beginning to work with them at their spankin’ new Fourmi Bionique plant. “Hey, it’s cheap labour.”

Do their lovers regularly suggest stuff like, “Hey, don’t you think it’d be cool if we got your twin and, uh, maybe shared a bed for a night or two? “They wouldn’t dare! But at the same time, even though it’s a taboo subject, at dinner parties and things like that, they’ll say stuff like, ‘Well, of course, everyone knows it’s every guy’s fantasy to do twins,’ but they try to be subtle about it. Still, it’s like, ‘Hello? You want us to do incest?’ I mean, why not bring your father into the bed? It’s the same thing.”

Given how friggin’ amazing their products are when one finds oneself whacked on marijuana, is it possible the sweet leaf had anything to do with the conception of any of Geneviève’s “awesome” recipes? No. “Actually, designing a recipe is a very scientific endeavour, you have to be very precise and you’re always marking down measurements, so you really need your concentration, so, uh, no, marijuana had nothing to do with it. I’m not so sure you’ll find many business people telling you marijuana played an important role in the building of their empires.”

Where you might find them hanging: Le Rouge. “Where there’s not so many young men around to make us feel like old ladies.”

Last book collectively read: Raising the Bar: Integrity and Passion in Life and Business: The Story of Clif Bar, Inc., by Gary Erickson.

Shared musical preferences: Coldplay, Guns N’ Roses, Radiohead.

Words of wisdom: “Promise less, deliver more.”

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