by RAF KATIGBAK

I consider myself an honourable man. Most of the time, I try to do the right thing—opening doors for people, giving blood, tipping cab drivers, not kicking the canes out from under old people just to watch their wrinkly little faces get all pursed up and confused like a California Raisin in a rabbit cage... I try to stay out of trouble, have fun and not hurt anybody in the process (unless they ask for the patented “Katigbak-Paddy-Whack,” at which point I’m obligated to comply). But when it comes to stealing cable, I must say, the temptation is huge.

Perhaps I’m contributing to the unravelling of our society’s moral fabric, and I’m sure many respectable people will send me more angry e-mails calling me “a callous roustabout with the morals of a common stoat,” but how can something so wrong feel so right? That’s not to say I do it, of course. In fact, I don’t. But not out of guilt for the poor cable company executive who’s just trying to put a loaf of $30 Venetian olive bread on his custom Murano glass dinner table, nor because of those painfully ineffective Stealing Cable is a Crime shame-mercials that made everyone just want to steal cable out of spite, but simply because of sheer laziness.

The idea of getting up on some ladder or climbing an electrified pole to haplessly dangle, trying to screw some cable into some mysterious box, just doesn’t appeal to me. I’ll tell you what does, though—music videos. Ever since the days of CBC’s Video Hits, I’ve been a fiend for music videos. So much so that it would make stealing cable worth it (almost). You can imagine my delight and surprise, then, when I heard that Michel Gondry, the best video director ever, will be hitting Ex-Centris at 9 p.m. this Friday to talk shop. For those of you who don’t know, Gondry is the genius behind some of the best videos for Chemical Brothers, Björk, White Stripes and Daft Punk (oh yeah, he did that Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind movie too), and you need to check his shit out.

In another strange Gondry/Montreal connex, Michel’s brother Olivier “Twist” Gondry has also made a name for himself working with Montreal acts, first for ghostly-swirling-pop band the Stills, more recently for Tiga’s latest video “You Gonna Want Me” (the Jesper Dahlback remix to which you all should be rocking right freakin’ now).

Dahlback isn’t the only Swede set to be rocking Montreal this week, as electro-minimalist Andreas Tilliander plays tonight under his Mokira guise at the Green Room with Mitchell Akiyama. Friday, Nov. 25, the place to be is Boombox, a loft-style “Supersound System” after-hours party on the 3rd floor of 20 Queen, near Square Victoria metro, with Trigger Recordings DJs François Lebaron, Pfreud, Soundshaper, the Autist, Benoit J and San Antonio. Twenty bones at the door!

PADDY-WHACK, ANYONE? Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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