F Hey, Rant Line™. I just wanted to send a final shout out to CHEWY THE ROCK ’N’ ROLL HUSKY dog. You guys might remember her as the dog that was sometimes pooing on the stage during shows at the Electric Tractor. Well, anyway, she was a big part of the music scene and she’s gonna be missed. She was way more punk than all of you. So rest in peace, Chewy. [BLEEP!]

F Hello. This is Manic Manon again. I was pretty pissed off when I left my rant about la Shop, but the thing is, la Shop is still open. We’ve just got to be very careful about the shows we book there for a while. We’ve got to stay away from trouble so we can offer an all-ages venue for people who deserve it. And, also, the thing about the BROWN MOHAWKS, that’s not really the problem. I have nothing against brown mohawks. It’s just that the people who did the thing had brown mohawks, but that doesn’t make all people with brown mohawks bad people. Okay, thank you. [BLEEP!]

M It’s really sad when middle-aged has-beens like Manic Manon use terms like “poseur.” I’ve been to la Shop and all I saw was junkies and homeless people from the area. I don’t call that a scene. So just go back to the hole you came from and live in the gutter and be happy about it. Later. [BLEEP!]

M I’m calling to rant about the LADIES FROM VENUS on CKUT and how incredibly hot they are. I keep having dreams about them and can’t seem to stop. And the music they play is just rockin’. Keep it up, ladies! [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, about the Montreal local music scene. I think it sucks real hard and I think the band that gets the most credit is Three Mile Scream. I think their bass player looks like Meat Loaf and I think that their singer sounds like Eddie Vedder with Tourette Syndrome. Have a great day. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, stop bashing bands from Montreal, man. There are so many fucking good bands. There’s the Sainte Catherines, now there’s Whisky Trench. There’s la Descente du Coude and Malajube, that whole thing. And it’s great that Wolf Parade are doing well because it helps other bands tour and make a living. So I don’t understand why you’re saying the Montreal music scene is full of shit. I mean, the Doughboys were from Montreal and they were pretty influential for their time. And what’s with dissing the Plateau hipster crowd? Artists flock to certain areas in every big city because there is cheap rent and people who think alike. You shouldn’t dis people because they live in a community. I agree that there are some ANNOYING PEOPLE in the Plateau, but there are annoying people in NDG, in the Lower East Side in New York City. I mean, I joke around about the fucking Wolf bands too, but… I dunno, I don’t give a rat’s ass, I just wanna go skate. [BLEEP!]

M I’m listening to Couleur Jazz, Musique du Monde. Here, this is what they’re playing right now on Sunday morning (radio blares “I Will Follow Him” by Little Peggy March). Is that disgusting or what? Couleur Jazz, musique du monde, I mean, come on! Can you guys speak to them? Do you know anybody that works at Couleur Jazz? Can you ask them what they’re trying to pull? Listen to this (song continues). No wonder there’s so much FRENCH-BLACK TENSION in Montreal—this is how they see jazz music, which is black music. This is how they see the world! This is what they call world music!! (more song) Pay attention. Listen! (more song) [BLEEP!]

F Hi, this is a warning to all the lesbians who go to Meow Mix events. I am a lesbian who went to Meow Mix on Halloween and I got kicked out of a bathroom because it was a men’s bathroom. This is an all-women event! And some guy who was on a power trip decided to kick me out while I was sitting down in my bathroom STALL. Miriam, please, what are you gonna do about this? Marie Josée? [BLEEP!]

F For the girl who got sexually harassed on her bike. Point A: Females should be able to wear whatever the fuck they want and not have to be accused of looking like a SLUT or looking like they’re asking for it. Point B: It doesn’t matter if you try to wear pants. The other day I was trying to dress down modestly and some guy yelled, “Do you wanna hear the sound of my balls slapping against your ass?” out of a window at me. I can’t even go out anymore! I’ve had my drinks drugged and been fucking groped repeatedly and, no, I don’t secretly like it!! Actually, it’s giving me ANXIETY problems. So fuck you! [BLEEP!]

F I have a theory about this whole short skirt issue: She’s probably an ugly fucking bitch just looking for attention. Because it doesn’t matter what the fuck I wear, men always hit on me. That’s it. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum