by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Joe Cadigal

Age: 39

Occupation: Floorball enthusiast/English professor

Bio: This convivial Mile-End resident was first introduced to the wonderful world of floorball by a Finnish friend only three short years ago. Always a big ice hockey fan, Joe has since become so enamoured with the quirky Euro-sport, “which is even faster than ice hockey—at least when played at a top level,” that he has taken it upon himself to proselytize to any and all about the infinite glory of the game, all in the effort to someday see floorball become a Canadian sports institution. The former singer for local ’90s pop sensations Laverne and current goalie for the Montreal United floorball team, when not blocking on-coming whiffle balls with his testicles, Joe teaches English at a couple of area CEGEPS. “I just love this sport, you know? I really, really love this sport!”

Why Joe sometimes finds himself blocking the net with his testes: “I don’t have a stick, catching glove or blocker, so I have to stop the ball with just my body. It’s a very challenging and acrobatic thing trying to cover a net like this. But for sure, I always wear a cup, you know.”

Isn’t floorball just floor hockey by another name? “Well, it’s similar, but we use a whiffle ball and there are no off-sides—so you can cherry pick all you want. And there’s no interference or checking either. Without the physical contact you can concentrate more on the technical aspects of the game, like ball control and passing.”

Is there any fighting in floorball? Rarely. “The only time I’ve ever seen fighting is at floorball tournaments held in Canada.”

Something Joe expects to see in the not-so-distant future: A pro floorball league coming to fruition here in North America.

How the hey that’s going to happen when there’s no fighting and when Americans have traditionally argued that the “comparatively slow-moving” sport of ice hockey is too difficult to comprehend because Yanks apparently find it too hard to follow the puck on TV? “The only way is for the sport to be put into school curriculums.”

Something Joe has been doing lately: Going around to various academic establishments, cornering their gym teachers and pleading with them to insert floorball into their curriculum.

Is the general consensus among local gym teachers that Joe might actually be a little bit crazy, if not dangerous? Probably not.

The number of area schools who’ve adopted floorball into their curriculum to date: “Um, I know here in Quebec that there have been some, at least, although I can’t give you the numbers. The problem tends to be that the administrations are worried the sport is going to mark up their gymnasium’s floor, but it really doesn’t, you know.”

Where to get more 411 on playing local floorball: www.floorballquebec.ca.

Where he hangs: Barfly, the Green Room.

Last book read: A Complicated Kindness, by Miriam Toews.

Musical preferences: Beck, Bionic, the New Pornographers.

Words of wisdom: “Be nice to each other.”

Comments? dimwit@hdot.net