by MATTHEW HAYS

Well, the trailer looked good. And so do stars Clive Owen and Jennifer Aniston. Too bad about the rest of the feature.

In Derailed, Owen plays an advertising executive stuck in a not-so-great 9-to-6 job, struggling to help finance his lovely daughter’s much-needed diabetes medication. Despite a wife to match the sweet kid, Owen finds his eyes wandering after bumping into Aniston—also an exec—on the morning train. After meeting up a few times, the two decide—despite their reluctance to fool around on their respective spouses—to jump in, head to a sleazy hotel and let the good times roll.

Big mistake. If these two had studied the pamphlet on Hollywood screenwriting they would have known that such forays into infidelity never bode very well for those doing the nasty. They are interrupted by a violent creep (Vincent Cassel) who smacks them silly and robs them blind. Aniston, shaken and stirred, tells Owen she can never see him again. Owen agrees.

But he’s then subjected to a round of blackmailing by the unspeakably horrid villain who has Owen’s home address and phone numbers. How can he get beyond this? Hoping that if he just pays up, Cassel will retreat forever, Owen coughs up much of the cash needed to take care of his dear offspring. Giving Cassel money, of course, only leads to a new round of demands that Owen must contend with.

Derailed is one of those studio films that feels utterly belaboured. And sadly, it doesn’t even rate in the so-stupid-it’s-funny strain of filmmaking, like Enough and Double Jeopardy do. It’s less funny than just plain irritating.

When film scholar David Bordwell came to Montreal to speak a few weeks ago, he discussed the fact that there were certain quirky devices thrown into independent screenplays that had become clichés. He was speaking specifically about network character story structures, like the one found in Altman’s Nashville, but much the same could be said for the kind of film Derailed aspires to be. Honestly, it’s time to state the question loud and clear: Hasn’t the who’s-screwing-who? subgenre gone waaaaaay past its best-before date?

Derailed opens Friday, Nov. 11

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