by CHRIS BARRY

Okay, here’s the deal with Thomas Riedelsheimer’s latest documentary: Evelyn Glennie is “virtually deaf.” She’s also one of the world’s leading percussionists, which is kind of neat, I suppose. Incorporating musical vibrations through the “resounding chamber” that is her body, Glennie serves up percussive rhythms that make Stewart Copeland seem understated by comparison. It’s pretty cool—for about 45 minutes.

And then, depending on your disposition, you may very well find yourself going, as I did, “All right already, Evelyn. Wonderful, you like to bang on shit, but even the sound of methane exiting one’s asshole can be interpreted as music.” Like, um, thanks, but seriously, who doesn’t already know this? I mean, you’ve got to figure anybody with any imagination who’s ever spent any time around a multi-track recorder kind of understands the various subtleties of sound and the obvious fact that you don’t absolutely have to use a fuckin’ snare drum to establish a backbeat—or whatever rhythm you’re looking to lay down. Right?

Which is not to completely dismiss Touch the Sound as an uninspired load of horseshit that’s going to bore everyone to tears. It probably won’t. Anybody who’s ever taken a course in electroacoustics, and actually enjoyed it, will no doubt love this movie—and probably don’t deserve to be made fun of because of it. There’s some lovely cinematography to behold as we follow Glennie around the globe in the pursuit of new people to collaborate with and new inanimate objects to bang on. There are some striking musical compositions to experience, in particular when Glennie starts making noise with celebrated experimental guitarist Fred Frith in an abandoned German industrial space.

For foot fetishists, there are a lot of sexy close-ups of Glennie’s toes, because she picks up sound vibrations through the soles of her feet. And, I suppose, there’s also some arguably enlightening intellectual discussion about the nature of sound—how we feel it, and all of that kind of shit which has always struck me personally as anathema to inspired musical creation. Look, somebody else (hey, maybe everybody else), will find this film endlessly compelling. I just found it redundant.

Touch the Sound opens at Cinéma du Parc Friday, Nov. 4

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