by ANDREA ZANIN

Montreal’s most outrageously costumed drag queen, Madame Simone, can generally be found outside Cabaret Mado flirting shamelessly with passers-by. She’s been a door diva for years, and has seen many a Halloween in the Village. During our chat, she arched a plucked eyebrow, put on her best jaded-drag-queen voice, and explained, “Don’t forget that Halloween is just a big party de costume pour les strrrraights. We can dress up anytime!”

She might have a point—but even in the queer world, we don’t get the chance to win prizes for our outfits all that often. And this weekend there are prizes aplenty to be grabbed, if your déguisement is fabulous enough!

With that in mind, should you need a funky hat (or feather boa, natch) to complete your ensemble, drop by the incongruously named Librairie A. Aubert (1381 Ste-Catherine E.). And since it never hurts to bribe a judge with a treat or two, stock up on sweets at Biscuiterie Ste-Catherine (1687 Ste-Catherine E.), the Village’s very own candy store. You can decide for yourself if you’re up for the “trick” part too.

Then, take your pick among the weekend’s gay club events. Rumour has it that Unity II was built over an ancient cemetery, and Saturday, Oct. 29 is when the spirits plan to seek revenge. It could be just a clever gimmick, but you might want to dress up to scare off evil spirits just in case… and perhaps win a hefty prize! Costume cash can also be won that same night at Bar Rocky (1613 Ste-Catherine E.) during Rocky Halloween, at Bar l’Idem’s Mega Halloween Party with the Idem Girls (1669 Ste-Catherine E.), and at Sky Club’s giant Witches’ Ball (1474 Ste-Catherine E.).

Rocky returns

Ladies, try your luck at Parking Lounge, where Femme Fridays go Freaky on the 28th. Or, if the Village ain’t your bag but a damn fine dyke party is, check out the Meow Mix’s Transylvania edition, for bent girls and our buddies, on Saturday night at la Sala Rossa with DJ Pascale McCoy. Costume creativity will be rewarded in both cases.

Though there’s no costume prize, Parking’s Halloween Weekend promises to be a blast—Saturday the 29th is for the boys, and on Sunday the 30th, all are welcome.

For some traditional queer-flavoured fun, get your garter-belted self to The Rocky Horror Picture Show, screening with a live cast and Plastik Patrik hosting on Friday, Saturday and Monday nights at the gorgeous Théâtre Corona. Check out the Web site, www.rockyhorrormontreal.com, for details on what to bring and what to expect! If you prefer a show that doesn’t involve food-flinging, check out Kiss My Cabaret at Théâtre National (1220 Ste-Catherine E.), the Village’s beautifully restored vaudeville hall, on Saturday night (www.kissmycabaret.com). A good costume may earn you a prize, and proceeds from the evening’s ticket sales will be donated to Séro-Zéro (www.sero-zero.qc.ca).

Fearful fetishism

Is fetish gear your favourite kind of dress-up? Head for the new Fetish 4Play event at Club le Tube (1592 Ste-Catherine E.) on Friday night. It attracts a hot pansexual kink crowd, with SM dykes, leather daddies and straight-but-not-narrow folks sharing the play space and the pub stools. This edition will feature a sensual vampire performance and some Frankenstein-style freakiness with Pierre Black of Black Sun piercing studio. Tickets and appropriate duds are available at Cuir Northbound (1323 Ste-Catherine E.). The evening’s theme is latex and rubber, to get you in the mood for the Saturday-night coronation of Mr. Rubber Montreal 2006 during Gummi Night at Aigle Noir (1315 Ste-Catherine E., tickets also at Northbound).

Last but not least, Cabaret Mado (1115 Ste-Catherine E.) is hosting a costume contest on Monday, Oct. 31. But if you think Halloween’s a bore, you might prefer their Fuck l’Halloween party on Tuesday, Nov. 1. When asked about her own feelings regarding the season, Madame Simone batted her four-inch lashes, fluttered a velvet-gloved hand and sighed dramatically, “Halloween is no fun anymore!”

Hmmm. Seems to me that on that count, at least, Madame Simone is wrong.

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