by MATTHEW HAYS

I have always said there is no better way to start your morning than at a press screening of a Danish film about spinal cord injury and infidelity. The laughs! The zany, knee-slapping one-liners! The wacky situations! Oh, those madcap Danes!

But seriously, folks, Open Hearts is a great movie, especially if you're considering slashing your wrists and want to make sure you don't change your mind. Shot along the strict rules of the Dogme cinematic manifesto (only natural lighting, no makeup, hand-held camera, grainy DV stock), the film serves up a tale of dire fatalism, in which ordinary people are placed in severe emotional distress.

At the film's outset we find one young couple, Cecilie and Joachim, hopelessly in love. Set to get hitched, the plan comes to a crashing halt when Joachim is hit by a car in an accident. At the hospital, Cecilie is told the grim news: Joachim will survive, but will never be able to feel anything below his neck again. The woman who hit Joachim with her car, Marie, is wracked with guilt and anxiety. She urges her husband, Niels, who is a doctor at the hospital, to comfort Cecilie. As the Scandinavian code of relationship ethics dictates, Niels and Cecilie end up shagging.

Director Susanne Bier clearly has a lot of talent. With Open Hearts, she effectively documents, in minute, excruciating, vivid detail, what happens when a family is torn apart by infidelity. It's an impressive feature, full of sharp performances and emotionally jarring moments. There aren't really any villains here, nor are there a lot of surprises, but there needn't be - instead, this is an organic film, one about the nuances and mysteries of human behaviour.

Indeed, it's a great film, but Open Hearts may not be for everyone. Not a good choice for a date movie, it's about as grim as... well, it's about as grim as a Danish film about spinal cord injury and infidelity. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Open Hearts opens Friday, Sep. 9

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