M Hey, this is in response to the guy who was ranting about the SCENESTERS. Yo, man, that's nonsense. The Montreal music scene is awesome. And why do you hate Montreal scenesters specifically? Have you ever been to Los Angeles, man? You should check out the scene there, or in New York, or even some parts of Florida. It's all the same, you can't get away from scenesters. In fact, scenesters make the music scene work because they go to all the fucking shows. Maybe the problem is that you don't go to enough shows - it's the same thing if I go on Crescent Street, I'm going to feel like an outcast. Once you start going to shows, you meet people and become friends with them. And as for montrealshows.com, it has done so much for this city. So fuck you, go to Los Angeles and see how it is there. [BLEEP!]

F I just went to some Montreal stores and checked out the T-shirts, man, and I am tired of seeing gun-toting, gangsta hip hop motherfuckers being turned into HEROES. When I think of all of the African-American men and women who gave their lives, got body parts mutilated, got their self-esteem shattered, their manhood destroyed, how many women were raped, all to give you some pride in yourself and some self respect and this is who you chose to wear on a T-shirt? Try wearing Nat Turner, Coretta Scott King, Medgar Evers, etc., etc. If you can't find the shirts, make 'em yourself and if you don't know who these people are, read a fucking book. 50 Cent ain't no motherfucking hero! And don't tell me how tough the projects are, SLAVERY was tough. And they fought with dignity - not by killing their own brothers and glamourizing it on a T-shirt. That's my rant. [BLEEP!]

F Hi. I'm a musician and I was denied a grant for the development of my musique actuel project, PIEROGIS AND BOGIE. I was going to record the vibrations of frozen, boiled and fried pierogis and mix it with samples of Humphrey Bogart's rarely heard shower singing, okay? I can't believe the Quebec Arts Council ruined my dream when they gave some U.K. transplant chickie 35 large to cordon off a Montreal street this coming Christmas, hang Tampax from the trees and call it "Merry Bleedin' Christmas." I'm done. I am done. I am accepting the peer counsellor position at Ikea. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, this is Manson from our band, the Dawson Creek Rejects, and this little ditty goes out to Johnson Cummins. Here goes (sings in nasal country twang): "Johnson Cummins, Johnson Cummins/We're gonna make a batch of rat shit muffins/Gonna stuff those rat shit muffins in your mouth/If you keep on saying shitty/About the fine bands in our city/Gonna stuff those rat shit muffins north and south." Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I'm calling to reply to Titty Titface's posting. I don't really know how to reply to his claim that Michael Moore is less credible than George Bush because Michael Moore is FAT and George Bush is SLIM, but let's just say, guy, you should stop watching TV and go out in the world. Please, dude, what else are you gonna tell us? That your girlfriend is very credible because she's all boobs and no brains? [BLEEP!]

M My name's Alex, I live in Montreal and I work in Ottawa. You know those guys in those tall fucking hats and those red suits who work on Parliament Hill? And if you make fucking faces in front of them, they can't fucking smile or do anything? Well, I fucking do that job and, let me tell you, it sucks shit! So if you're working at some asshole coffee shop and you're bitching "Oh, I'm only making $7.50 an hour and tips" you just think of my ass working for the feds for $120 a day for fucking 15 hours minimum, every fucking day for four months, god-fucking-dammit. This job fucking sucks and I miss Montreal every day! [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I'm a heterosexual male and proud of it and I was just beaming full of HETEROSEXUAL PRIDE and I was just wondering: when's our parade? [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I just wanna say that the thing that pisses me off about straight people in the Village is the stag parties and bachelor parties and straight guys dressed up. It's demeaning. Gay people should do the same thing - go to a straight neighbourhood and make fun of them. [BLEEP!]

M This is fuckin' Jazzo and I'm just commenting about the fuckin' TRACK DOGS that fuckin' go around the fuckin' track with their fuckin' STDs and you think they're fuckin' women but they've got 12-inch fucking cocks on them and shit. Anyway, so I fuckin' yelled at one of them the other day on their fuckin' track, calling them dirty sluts and go suck a fuckin' dick and next thing I know I'm in a fuckin' police car, what type of shit is that? I go to fuckin' jail for a night 'cuz I yelled at one of these fucking dirty transvestites?! I tell you, is that fuckin' fair? That's my question. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum