by RAF KATIGBAK

In the next few weeks, if you see me in the street and strike up a conversation, you may notice my unusually shifty eyes and nervous demeanour, how I rock from side to side in a pseudo-pee-pee dance. The explanation for my constant state of anxiousness is that it's August, you see, and it's time for garage sales.

There's something voyeuristic about going through other people's crap, and then owning it, that really floats my boat. Garage sales are like crack to almost every DJ, who sees them not just as a chance to sift through someone's box of dirty, unpaired socks but also as a chance to perhaps find that rare Velvet Underground acetate, Ennio Morricone score or original pressing of the Planète sauvage soundtrack for 50 cents.

My father took me to my first garage sale when I was 10 and I've been addicted ever since. The best way to describe my dad would be unreasonably thrifty. He was sort of the Obi-wan of garage sales, without the Zen-like patience - his idea of bargaining was hearing the asking price, shoving half of that in the seller's hand, grabbing the item and running away screaming. His heightened ability to smell a good deal in a 50 km radius was tempered by an absolute lack of practical reason, ultimately leading to some questionable purchases and a basement full of crap. "300 boxes of flavoured toothpicks for $5, eh? Tell you what, if you throw in those army helmets and four broken typewriters, you've got a deal!"

Seeing him whipped into a garage sale frenzy would have been entertaining to most people, but not me, because I knew that at some point, I was expected to unload that same useless merchandise on my poor, unsuspecting friends and classmates. Let me tell you, the night I showed up at the high school dance in my "cool new army helmet" preaching the merits of minty-fresh oral hygiene was a dark night indeed.

Speaking of dark nights, this Saturday you'll definitely need to rock some headgear for the next edition of Hard as Fuck. Arguably one of the best underground parties in Montreal, every HAF goes off like the Challenger. B7, D-Mise, Deztro, DJ Promo, ex T, Merkurius, Tamerax and Iznogood are just some of the names heading the bill. Tix are $20 in advance, check www.synergycanada.com for more details.

Speaking of hard beats, Philly DJs Starkey and Dev79 will be gracing the decks at Blizzarts' monthly Flexout night next Tuesday, Aug. 9. They apparently rep some serious U.K. grime shit, so don't miss it!

But why not warm up the weekend tonight, Aug. 4, at the Casa del Popolo, where indie rock meets indie dance with local acts Broadswords and Blunderspublik. I've heard lots of good things about Broadswords - aka electronic musician Gord Allen (Sanguine) and indie rock songwriter Scott Gray (the Sally Fields) - who together rock the fun electropop steez.

HOW MUCH FOR THE ROTATO? Diskoakimbo@sympatico.ca

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