by KRISTIAN GRAVENOR

There aren't many good old-fashioned black-and-white battles of good versus evil anymore. But there's still one right under your nose. Heaven or hell await, depending on which side you're on.

It's the battle of urban beauty against ugliness.

It's not enough to cheer on from the sidelines. If you want moral redemption, you've got to get in there and start slugging.

The good side is losing. Insidious ugliness is fast doing its hideous work. Montreal can easily be a hot babe, but it's still downgraded as a too-bad-about-the-face.

Can we repair it? Some things seem immutable and constant in Montreal. There's always at least one weirdo hanging around the abandoned bank at St-Rémi and Notre-Dame. But change is subtle and sometimes imperceptible. A decade back, Volkswagen Jettas sat at every red light, now there seems to be not a one.

Tiny, seemingly insignificant details are everything in cities. One lousy cracked window - as the theory goes - tells the eye that a nice area is actually a slum.

Here's some of the creeping blight blistering my sensitive eyeballs this summer.

1. Tree-less holes: Look down at the sidewalk. You'll notice an occasional empty muddy square in the pavement designed to house a tree.

They're everywhere. Where a magnificent, shady tree could stand, instead sits a weed-filled hole.

On the hill on St-Jacques near the upcoming superhospital, there's about 10 in a row. I complain to the city every year. They do nothing. I'm thinking those condescending superhospital suits will get it done and make it look like they brought civilization to the ghetto.

But I'm convinced we can re-tree Montreal's tree-hungry lands. The Éco-Quartier NDG is assembling an army of citizens to march around and record these tragically tree-less spots (call Geneviève at 482-8778 to enlist). Stroll around with a pen and pad to map places that need more trees. Then it's rat-a-tat-tat to city hall to demand specific action on each and every one.

Highways are also criminally unverdant. I've urged various departments to put trees around highways in Montreal. They had a lot of reasons why they couldn't do it. A few weeks ago, Laval announced that they're putting 250,000 trees next to their highways and public buildings. Montreal might do the same if they were urged with a louder voice.

2. You know those sixplexes with outdoor staircases that we're so fond of putting on our postcards? Take a closer look next time you walk by one. I'm wagering 50 bones that the stairs on the first one you examine desperately need a paint job. And their adjacent black metal fences? Unpainted and rusty. It's nothing that a few minutes of labour can't cure. The city can do nothing. We need a social disincentive to discourage such ugly neglect of property. Holler up the stairs. Leave an unsigned note.

3. If you are a litterer, enjoy it because you are surely going to Hades for your sins. The park near my home is loaded with garbage pails, but people prefer to dump their clear-plastic popsicle wrappers and other junk on the grass. Littering bylaws go unenforced because our local cops sit behind desks daydreaming about riding seadoos on their days off in the Laurentians. I hate doing it, but I pick up the litter in the park. It's unpleasant. At first I didn't want to be seen doing it. Then I noticed that people looked quite impressed when seeing me collect discarded styrofoam cups and discarded water bottles. I'm both a good citizen and a solid public entertainer, it seems.

4. You know those streets with a little patch of lawn along the strip between the sidewalk and street? I love them. Seen any lately? Nor I. The cities kill them with concrete. Next time you're at Dunkin Donuts on Wellington, look up Willibrord. What could be a grassy row is instead just more concrete. Enough people complain and it'll be returned to nature.

It's time we trained our eyes on creeping urban ugliness. Visualize not only beauty but also a plan to make it happen. It's time we go to war against decrepitude with guns blazing.

Comments? kgravy@openface.ca