by SCOTT C

I don't know about you, but I just spent the last half hour watching all five episodes of R Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" soap opera/video masterpiece. Say what you will about the cornrowed R&B fetishist, but the creative ingenuity contained in this latest piece of work had me pissing myself with laughter. The song unfolds over five episodes that take place after a hot night at the club, with R Kelly waking up in somebody else's bed. I don't want to give too much away if you haven't already seen it, but the R should seriously think about getting into the daytime drama game, because this shit is genius. You'll be laughing so hard that you

forget just about everything else R Kelly has done, both in public and private, trust me.

Blizzarts is the spot this Friday, July 22, when Moonstarr and Toronto's DJ Vision take over the place for the night. Vision is part of the Cell Division crew out of T.O. and should have a big bag of broken beat, underground and next-level hip hop for everybody in the place. Four dollars gets you in.

Spoke to local MC Annakin Slayd this week about the release of his new single "American Bitch." He played a show with his band Blue Collar Hubris earlier this week, and is working hard on releasing his album in the coming months. "People immediately think that it's a misogynist song, just based on the title. It's a story about an American girl that I hook up with, who eventually moves in and starts taking all kind of liberties - y'know, making me feel uncomfortable in my own house. I used this story to parallel what the USA is doing in Iraq. I love the lyrical aspect of hip hop, but there's a lot of people who are just checking for a nice beat and a catchy hook. I just wanted to say a bit more." Look for his new mixed CD Warning Tracks at Off the Hook, Sports Fever, Moog and Vibes, or check www.annakinslayd.com for more info.

Don't miss the Battle, this Saturday, July 23, at le Medley, part of Just For Laughs and easily one of the largest groupings of b-boys and b-girls that this city sees every year. With 60 dancers from all over North America, you know this is gonna be good. Tix are $15 for the preliminary round, $30 for the finals, or $35 for the whole day. They hit the floor at 2 p.m., so don't sleep.

Justin sent me a link to what looks to be a fairly in-depth look at the spread of hip hop culture throughout the East African country of Kenya. Hip Hop Colony looks at how hip hop culture has firmly planted roots as the new voice of Kenya's youth. It's an interesting take, comparing commercial American hip hop to colonial-era invaders who tried everything to sweep local custom, culture and identity under the rug. The film features Kenyan artists finding ways to adapt hip hop culture to fit their way of life, while still contributing to the global movement. Peep www.hiphopcolony.com for all the details.

I'M REALLY NOT THAT GUY... fathead@videotron.ca

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