Dear Sasha: I recently watched that classic of the German cinema, Pumped, Fucked and Fisted. In this film, pussies are swollen to enormous sizes using a device that looks like an oxygen mask attached to a hand pump. The luscious, engorged outer and inner labia of these women were some of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. My questions are as follows:
(1) Will this “procedure” achieve such marvellous engorgement on any woman or must she have naturally large external genitalia? (2) Might the woman derive pleasure from this, and is it safe—ie. no resulting permanent stretching or blood-flow problems? (3) If the answer to #2 is yes, where can I get one of these pussy pumps and how much do they cost? » Pumped For Puffy Pussy
Dear Pumped,
For sheer wowey-zowey value, it probably helps to have opulent inner and outer labia, and perhaps the director chose women with these qualities to highlight the theme of the film, but professional results can be achieved with almost any vagina. Undoubtedly, women derive pleasure from this, as many women enjoy having both their labia and clitoris sucked, and women also practice clitoral and labial engorgement for fun times.
As for safety, I once spoke to a doctor about penis pumps, which are designed to achieve the same effect—drawing blood to the penis and making it temporarily larger, and since the female genitals are homologous, it stands to reason that safety concerns would be the same. He warned about frequency, since the process of pumping breaks capillaries as well as thickens the skin, and apparently when you swell an area with obsessive frequency, you make it more prone to infection and improper wound healing if it gets cut or requires surgery.
Men who make this part of a daily regimen will succeed in enlarging their organ with some permanence, but functionality is apparently compromised. (I know, who cares, right? At least your dick looks bigger, which is way more important than it working properly.) Anyway, the pictures are fucking revolting—bloated maroon sausages that look like they belong to biker corpses dragged from a lake.
Reliable sex guides like The Whole Lesbian Sex Book and The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex offer very little in the way of information specific to women, other than only doing it for a few minutes at a time. It looks like we’ll have to wait a few years till it becomes mainstream to garner more elaborate wisdom on safety and long term effects, though the site www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/vaginal_pumping.htm does offer tips. A colleague who has experience with clitoral pumping has tried the model you describe from the film and said she had some trouble achieving a seal because of her shape, but it is available at JT’s Stockroom (www.stockroom.com/a934.htm) for $28.50 (U.S.).
Dear Sasha: As I’ve grown older (I’m 51), I’ve found that I need more verbal stimulation from my wife during sex in order to orgasm. Often, this verbal stimulation has taken the form of my wife telling me stories of past lovers and how big they were, or her imagining that I am the hunky waiter that served us at dinner. She will tell him (me) how much bigger he is compared to her husband or how he does it better while I am inside her. Does this make me weird? » David
Dear David,
Tons of people enjoy lurid palaver on an astonishingly wide variety of topics, and your specific frame of reference is not a bit rare. Given that most men are utterly obsessed with the size of their and other men’s penises, the idea of your wife having the stuffing fucked out of her by a hugely endowed young server or former lover is certainly an exciting possibility.
Why are you into this, you may be asking yourself? Well, I bet that you feel secure enough with your wife to play out fantasies of losing her to someone more skillful and handsome, so it’s like break-up/make-up sex over and over again. Security is a double-edged sword, and sometimes you need to challenge it to a duel.
Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com
