by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Stéphane Lebel

Age: 31

Occupation: Worm breeder

Bio: This strutting yet blissfully serene St-Henri rooster first got involved in the wonderful world of worms via his involvement with currently dormant downtown community centre L'X. A volunteer worker at their food bank, it came to Stéphane's attention that something had to be done with all the centre's stinkin' refuse on days when there was no garbage collection. A crafty lad, Stéphane and the L'X gang recognized that composting could be a pragmatic and environmentally efficient way to deal with the issue, so, off they went, scoring a few compost boxes and a few zillion worms along the way, and before long, Stéphane had amassed enough knowledge about slimy invertebrates to officially acquire the title of "worm expert." Now employed as the resident worm man at La Ferme Pousse Menu in NDG (www.pousse-menu.com), Stéphane can set you up with a year-round indoor compost centre and a family of hungry shit-eatin' worms for a very modest price indeed. He's also one of those brave souls who rides his bicycle everywhere, regardless of the season.

Why is composting so wonderful? Won't organic muck simply decompose on its own in a landfill? "Yes, eventually it will, but organic waste in a landfill won't decompose in the same way as composting - it's not the same micro-organisms involved. In a landfill there is no air, so, among other [negative, less environmentally sound] things, the [biodegradation process] creates a gas which is harmful to the environment."

If a person had intestinal worms, couldn't they just shit into a compost and let those worms do the job, perhaps saving themselves a few bucks in the process? No, wrong worms. "Not all worms have the same diet, you know."

When breeding his stock, does he ever consider messing with genetics to develop a bigger, better, hungrier composting worm? "No. The worms we use are red worms [a.k.a. Eisenia foetida], which are about seven centimetres long and these guys eat their own body weight every 24 hours - so that's pretty good. They won't mate with other types of worms, but what we can do is create better conditions for them to reproduce through pH levels, temperature, humidity, this sort of thing."

How much a family of hardworking worms will set a person back? $40 a pound. "It's true, they won't survive outside in the winter, but we've been very busy promoting indoor composting techniques which don't stink and are fully functional."

Can you fish with his worms? "No, they're too fragile."

Do people ever refer to him as "worm man"? Occasionally.

Is that because he has no extremities and crawls around everywhere like the famous worm man in Tod Browning's seminal 1932 film Freaks? Not so much.

Where you might find him boozing: Café Chaos.

Childhood ambition: To become a film stunt man.

Musical preferences: Bérurier Noir, Métal Urbain.

Literary preferences: Aube magazine (www.laplumedefeu.com).

Words of wisdom: "Green, anarchist, vegan."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca