by CHRIS BARRY

Ah, nothing like another unimaginative Disney remake to remind you that summer has rolled around again. This time, with the help of director Angela Robinson (D.E.B.S.), they've resurrected one of their dumber ideas - that of Herbie the Love Bug, a cute but temperamental VW Beetle with human emotions who eventually rises to the occasion to save Lindsay Lohan and her vivacious teenage rack from the humiliation of losing a NASCAR race.

Yes, it's a stupid, tired, lazy film, but rest assured it is likely to be doing gangbusters at the box office all summer long. Hey, the concept resonated with children back when the original film was released in '68, so why not today? Throw in a few modern effects, a new generation of teen stars, and... come on, when you own an idea this brilliant you'd be crazy not to milk it.

Here's the set-up: Herbie has fallen on hard times. The poor thing's been sent to the junkyard, just waiting to be turned into scrap metal. Enter new university grad Maggie (Lohan) and her loser Nascar-racing Dad, Michael Keaton, who, as a graduation present, offers to buy her the emotionally needy junker for a paltry $75. It turns out to be a pretty good investment. Within moments of his purchase, Herbie decides he wants to go street racing and whisks into action, finding and kicking the ass of arrogant NASCAR champ Trip (Matt Dillon.) All the while, a hapless Maggie sits in the drivers' seat, helpless to stop the incorrigible bug from exercising its mighty will.

Well, you can only imagine how upset this makes Trip, who vows revenge and is intent on taking it any way he can. Now I don't want to spoil the plot for anyone here, so let's just say the action all boils down to one big race at the end with Herbie pulling out all the CGI stops and saving the day. Oops, gave the plot away. Sorry.

Look, if you've got a posse of restless toddlers at home and just want to shut 'em up for 90 minutes, then by all means, bring them to see Herbie: Fully Loaded. Some of the simpler ones might like it. But for all you adults out there with IQ's over 75, consider yourself warned.

Herbie: Fully Loaded is now playing

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