by KEVIN LAFOREST, SARAH ROWLAND and MARK SLUTSKY

One Missed Call

Clearly director Takashi Miike tried to dial in on the international popularity of Japanese horror by ripping off themes from The Ring and Ju-on. The result is a ludicrous, never-ending bad joke that gives the whole genre a bad name.

The story revolves around a group of young, trendy university students. One by one, they get a message from the future, predicting their increasingly gory demise. The calls are traced back to a recently deceased mother who was accused of killing her daughter. This particular abused child shows up everywhere with her dark, matted hair covering her face (re: The Ring and Ju-On). In what should be the closing scene, we learn that all zombie mom needs is a hug.

Had scriptwriters Minako Daira and Yasushi Akimoto tossed in a few funny one-liners to compliment the insanity of scenes like that, this film could have been pure comic gold. But instead, several false endings later, viewers are left laughless and no closer to knowing what the hell is going on. Before Daira and Akimoto sit down to plot out another script, they would be wise to enrol in some sort of film remedial school where they can learn the difference between holes and twists. (SR)

The Soul Keeper

From the first scene onward, Roberto Faenza’s little piece of Russian history is overwrought with hysteria and overacting. Inspired by a published correspondence between Jung and Freud, the Italian director explores the life of Sabina Spielrein (Emilia Fox). She was the first patient that Jung (Iain Glen) cured using Freud’s psychoanalytical methods. The only side effect of the then-revolutionary treatment Sabina suffered from was falling in love with her very married doctor, who promptly started boning his vulnerable mental case before kicking her to the curb.

Young Sabina was a survivor, though, and went on to become a respected shrink in Moscow. There she applied her own ideas about psychology to special-needs kids, including Stalin’s son, who, not surprisingly, was the class bully. The fictionalized bio bounces back and forth between Sabina and the present-day, in which two love-struck historical detectives work together to uncover the truth about their mutual obsession. This seems totally unnecessary, especially since more time is needed to explore our heroine’s actual accomplishments, (other than bagging Jung). As it is, her legacy is summed up in the last five maudlin minutes. (SR)

Les États nordiques

From Montrealer (and former film editor for Mirror sister publication ICI) Denis Côté, comes a hypnotizing, often cryptic and elliptical debut feature, set in the Quebec north. Devised in collaboration with actor Christian LeBlanc, Les États nordiques follows a Montreal man (LeBlanc) who, in the film’s virtually dialogue-free opening half hour, mercifully terminates the life of his terminally ill mother. He then takes a car far north to Radisson (a title tells us this is the only non-native settlement north of the 53rd parallel), home largely to Hydro-Québec workers maintaining James Bay. There, he quietly assumes a new life.

But that’s really the tip of the iceberg of this sometimes-frosty film, a movie that mixes documentary and fiction in a pleasing way and possesses a terrific visual beauty. Côté, who has some interesting shorts under his belt, proves himself to be a confident and talented director and a challenging new voice in Quebec film. Well worth seeing. (MS)

Idole instantanée

Between this and last year’s Camping sauvage, it’s tempting to wish for a law that forbids TV personalities with zero filmmaking experience from directing big-budget movies. While Yves Desgagnés’ Idole instantanée is nowhere near as awful as Guy A. Lepage’s inexplicable blockbuster, it’s still got the same kind of uninspired sitcomish humour and flashy, but misguided, visual style. The only bright spot is star Claudine Mercier, who takes on all the four leading roles and manages to make them all feel distinctive. The women she plays are the finalists of the titular talent contest, whom we follow during the last 24 hours before a winner is picked.

The film is a satire of reality shows like Star Académie, an easy target if there ever was one. Alas, the four credited screenwriters couldn’t come up with anything more challenging than feeble jabs at media synergy, overzealous fans and people who’ll do anything to get their 15 minutes in the spotlight. Worse, the material just isn’t that funny, and the switch to sentimentality in the last act doesn’t fare any better either. (KL)

Les États Nordiques, The Soul Keeper and One Missed Call open Friday, June 17. Idole Instantanée is now playing

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