Dear Sasha: I'm the owner of a small arts business - four employees, so it's intimate (but not in a yucky way). We are relaxed, fun, and love the work we do. The place has a very open atmosphere, which we all promote, which makes my problem unusually pressing, as I cannot think of how to deal with it. One of my employees is unaware that her springtime dresses, in certain postures, expose her rather completely. I am only disturbed by it because I am horrified that she will realize it and then figure that I, and the other male worker in the office have been ogling her. It's impossible not to notice, and of course on some primal ape level, I find it perfectly pleasant. But I don't want her to be embarrassed, and I can't tell her. Do I ask the other female worker to figure out a way to bring her attention to it? I don't feel I can say anything myself. » Trying Not to Look

Dear Trying,
Am I to understand your primary concern in this matter is that you and your arty male colleagues will be exposed as the "type" of men who ogle women in scanty spring dresses? Do you not also realize that describing these urges as primal and ape-like betrays a silly high-mindedness that's completely incongruous with what we all know about so many men in creative fields (like, that you're perverts)? More to the point, any woman - presumably in this case with a background in the arts - would be naïve to labour under the impression that men in this community are courtly and asexual, which brings me to the next issue: How do you know she's unaware? It seems highly unusual to me that anyone who has a job related to aesthetics wouldn't be one of two things:

1) Acutely aware of the visual, and by extension acutely aware of herself.

2) Completely out of it. Same underwear five days in a row and leaves the stove on daydreaming of being reincarnated as a building in Barcelona.

Either way, or anywhere in between, she probably doesn't give a hoot about your imagined gentlemanly self-image and how it's grappling with her breasts and other parts. I also think it's unfair to ask your female colleague to play proxy to your shame. Relax. Have fun. Enjoy beauty.

Dear Sasha: I am in my late 30s. Could you tell me how to meet Middle Eastern or East Indian women? I am looking for anything from a one-night stand to something casual. For that matter, where can I go to meet single black and/or Asian women looking for a little fun? My goal is simply to sample the exotic tastes of the world before I die. » James

Dear James,
A good way to go about sampling exotic tastes in women is to hire escorts; they are generally more responsive to playing the kinds of racial stereotypes I think you might be after. Look in the back of any weekly, and you'll see ads that pander to all the hackneyed conventions of cultural exoticism: Sweet Orientals, Brown Sugars and Hot Chocolates. Why, it's a veritable colonialist's buffet.

Dear Sasha: I get turned on when my wife's feet smell like vinegar and leather mixed together. I'm very lucky as she has a pair of leather shoes she wears for me that create a strong leather smell and this is quite satisfying. The issue is that she likes to be squeaky clean when we have sex and she usually showers before. I would prefer if she was a little smellier, but she doesn't share my opinion. » Foot Luv'r

Dear Foot,
Not to imply that there's any form of profiteering in the context of the sacred institution of marriage, but you may find your wife more amenable to actualizing your fetish should you provide her with inspiration in the form of a pair of nice leather heels every so often.

Got any questions for Sasha? Write her at
465 McGill Street, 3rd floor, Montreal, Quebec, H2Y 4B4
Fax: 393-3173
e-mail: pouledeluxe@yahoo.com