by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Ian Aiello

Age: 35

Bio: This vivacious Laval buck has pretty well been working in the family business, Aiello Sebastiano Monuments, since childhood. Passionate about the medium of radio, for a few years in the early '90s Ian worked in the field but soon came to the conclusion that radio is, by and large, a mug's game. "People in radio were miserable and bitter. I decided I loved the medium too much to work for a private commercial station and wind up that way." So, in 1994, this spicy Italian rejoined the family biz, and is today renowned for his ability to design, sandblast, cut and sell a headstone like nobody's business. He drives a sporty 2001 PT Cruiser, but try not to hold that against him.

One way to sell a headstone: By scouring the obituaries and calling up family members to inform them of the great stone they can get at an amazing price if they're prepared to act quickly. "I've always approached [selling] with the greatest respect, but some of these companies, I'm not kidding, they'll call the family on the day of the funeral. We could never work that way. We'll wait at least a couple of weeks before calling, but some of these guys, they might as well be selling refrigerators."

Something Ian feels is probably a good sign for society but not so great for business: "Thirty years ago, people, especially Italians, used to see these huge monuments [in the cemeteries] and say, ‘Okay, I want one like that - but bigger!' These days you don't come across that so often. People don't really give a shit anymore about what the next person is putting up - that whole ‘keeping up with the Joneses' thing."

Is he often asked to carve something vaguely nasty into a stone, like "He was a lazy sonofabitch and a poor father to boot"? No.

How long it takes to create a monument: Between two and 10 weeks of full-time labour.

Do people tend to pay way more than they can afford in a whacked out effort to demonstrate just how much they cared about the departed? "Yes, and it's a problem. When people spend money based on emotion, they're the ones who'll have problems paying you later on. People make very odd choices when they're grieving, so, when they're obviously distraught, it just makes sense to tell them to think about it and come back in a couple of weeks. You'd be amazed at the difference in people when they return. They trust you, are much more stable emotionally, and really appreciate that you didn't try to take advantage of them."

Last book read: White Oleander by Janet Finch.

Musical preferences: Tragically Hip, Linkin Park, Sum 41.

Fave TV shows: Six Feet Under, The Sopranos, Dead Like Me

Words of wisdom: "You can stress and bitch and complain and worry, but somehow, some way, the universe always works out as it's supposed to in the end."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca