Nightlife

Best Bartender
1. Bill at Saphir/Foufs
2. Gern F. at Grumpy's
3. Amir at Jet Club
4. Helen at Blue Dog
5. Jen at Cock 'n' Bull
6. Kim at Barfly
7. Heather at Jupiter Room
8. Karl at Parking
9. Stacey at Tokyo
10. Adalia Weinstein at Cheers Pointe-Claire
Honourable mentions: Nancy Ross at Biftek • Daniel at Blue Dog • Sylva at Foufs • Nick the Prick at Korova

Best Waiter/Waitress
1. Julie Young at La Cabane
2. Susan at Biftek
3. Felicity Hammer at Brutopia
4. Vicky at Jet Club
5. Catherine at Club Passeport
6. Laura Monetta at Wunderbar
7. Lisa at Parking
8. Anna at Bifteck
9. Caroline at Saphir
10. Marie-Claude at Copacabana
Honourable mentions: Reno at L'Île Noire • Sabrina at Green Room • Robin at Typhoon • Shelly at Else's

A category absent from last year's BOM, Best Waiter/Waitress differs a bit from Best Bartender in that a barkeep's job isn't just yanking pints, but also serving as a shrink/carny barker/temporary best friend. Not so the table-service types - combining diplomacy, memorizing skills and an element of acrobatics, it's their job to get you the vittles and libations you requested, promptly and without collisions or spills. It's a tough gig so tip well!

Best Watering Hole
1. Bar Bifteck
2. Brutopia
3. Peel Pub
4. Barfly
5. Cock 'n' Bull Pub
6. Foufounes Électriques
7. Madhatter
8. Le Pistol
9. Grumpy's
10. Hurleys

Best Sleazy Dive
1. Miami
2. Bifteck
3. Barfly
4. Cock 'n' Bull
5. Skala
6. Foufounes Électriques
7. Peel Pub
8. Roy Bar
9. Cleopatra's
10. Bar Diana

Best Happy Hour
1. Carlos & Pepes
2. Peel Pub
3. Vol de Nuit
4. McKibbin's
5. Cheers
6. Brutopia
7. Newtown
8. Foufounes Électriques
9. Sky Pub
10. Madhatter

Best Pickup Spot
1. Thursdays
2. Jet
3. Cheers
4. Foufounes Électriques
5. Le Parking
6. Jupiter Room
7. Café Campus
8. GoGo Lounge
9. St-Sulpice
10. Tokyo Bar

Best-Looking Clientele
1. Jet
2. Time Supper Club
3. Buona Notte
4. Wunderbar
5. Saphir
6. Globe
6. Foufounes Électriques
7. Newtown
8. Club Next
9. Tokyo
10. Club 737

Best Terrasse
1. Saint-Sulpice
2. Sainte-Elizabeth
3. 737 Altitude
4. Tokyo
5. Vol de Nuit
6. Foufounes Électriques
7. Winnie's
8. Miami
9. Madhatter
10. Thursdays

Best Live Venue
1. Metropolis
2. Spectrum
3. La Sala Rossa
4. Club Soda
5. Le Swimming
6. Café Campus
7. Foufounes Électriques
8. Cabaret
9. Bell Centre
10. Medley
Honourable mentions: Casa del Popolo • Dome • La Tulipe • Divan Orange • Corona

While Montreal has seen an explosion of live-music venues in the last year or two, it's the big old standbys that still finish on top in this category. The newcomers did get a little buzz, though - La Tulipe, Divan Orange and the newly revitalized Corona all earned tips of the hat.

Best Lounge
1. Luba Lounge
2. Jello Bar
3. Buddha Bar
4. GoGo
5. Kafein
6. Sofa
7. Kunta Lounge
8. Laïka
9. Blizzarts
10. Pub Quartier Latin

Not much change here, with Luba again taking top place, followed by the snazzy martini joint Jello, Buddha and GoGo. The upstarts here are Kafein, the groovy basement hangout on Bishop that gives Concordia students a sweet spot to chill, chat and generally avoid schoolwork, and the groove-oriented joint Kunta on St-Denis.

Best Jazz Bar
1. Upstairs
2. House of Jazz
3. Jello Bar
4. Le Swimming
5. Bily Kun
6. L'Escogriffe
7. Pub Quartier Latin
8. Le Bebop
9. Cobalt
10. Sofa

There would indeed be something wrong if Upstairs, the city's premier jazzbo joint, didn't take its usual number-one spot in this category. Venues like Jello, Swimming, Bily Kun, l'Esco and Quartier Latin don't necessarily constitute jazz bars, though they certainly have their fair share of jazz, or at least jazz-flavoured, bands play their stages. It's probably more a matter of providing the right ambience for a jazz session, and that they do.

Best Dance Club
1. Jet
2. Dome
3. Tokyo
4. Parking
5. Orchid
6. Saphir
7. Stereo
8. Le Loft
9. Time
10. 1234 de la Montagne

With the number-one DJ (Quest) and night (Flight Fridays, below), the swanky Jet remains aloft at No. 1 in this category. Dome, Tokyo and Parking maintain their respective positions, while the elegant Orchid and bat-cave-alicious Saphir clamber up a notch or two. Time, ostensibly an upscale eatery, seems to be pretty positive about clientele dancing off their dinners.

Best Club Night
1. Flight Fridays at Jet
2. Back 2 Basics at Blue Dog
3. Thursday nights at Parking
4. Hypnotic Thursdays at Club Next
5. Dark Wave Nights at Saphir
6. Diva at Jet
7. L'Eighties Night at Jupiter Room
8. Classic Saturdays at Exit
9. Fuego Fridays at Stereo
10. Funky Ass Tuesdays at Jello Bar

Flight night takes it again, with Blue Dog's Back 2 Basics barking at its heels - same as last year, and a direct parallel to the Best Local DJ category, topped by Jet's Quest and Blue Dog's DR One. The Dark Wave Nights go up a bit, L'Eighties Night slides a couple of notches, and Club Next's Hypnotic Thursdays have mesmerized the regulars into giving it an unusually high first-time ranking.

Best Afterhours
1. Circus
2. Stereo
3. Aria
4. Red-Lite
5. Sona
6. Gravity
7. Millennium

Millennium, the East End addition to this category, appears for the first time, joining the standbys of the big-room, dance-till-daybreak dens. Sona's still on there, which is wishful thinking since its out of commission.

Best Rave/Party
1. Bal en Blanc
2. Black & Blue
3. Cream
4. Celebration
5. Hard as Fuck 3
6. Underground Legacy
7. I Love Neon
8. Eclipse
9. Kops Crew New Year's Eve
10. Picnik Électronik

The top three slots over here remain constant, with Bal en Blanc and Black & Blue proving that when Montreal sees a circuit, we know how to work it (and for a good cause). The really hardcore techno, repped at Hard as Fuck, makes some noise, and the inclusion of Picnik Électronik, the Sunday-afternoon weeklies on Île Ste-Hélène, whets the appetite for summer days to come.

Best Strip Club
1. Wanda's
2. Chez Paree
3. Super Sexe
4. Amazons
5. Kamasutra
6. Solid Gold
7. 281
8. Club Downtown
9. Le Stock
10. Château du Sexe

Best Gay Bar
1. Parking
2. Unity 2
3. Sky
4. Cabaret Mado
5. Drugstore
6. Stereo Bar
7. Agora
8. Club Date
9. Café Cleopatra
10. Le Stud

Best Lesbian Bar
1. Drugstore
2. Magnolia
3. Femme Fridays at Parking
4. Sky
5. Meow Mix at Sala Rossa
6. Sisters
7. Unity II
8. Club Chez Mado
9. Station C
10. Super Sexe

Best Drag Queen
1. Mado
2. Plastik Patrik
3. Manny
4. Sheena Hershey
5. Kiki
6. Michel Dorion
7. Gina the Drag Piper
8. Popline
9. Verushka
10. Madame Simone

Best Pool Hall
1. Sharx
2. Le Swimming
3. Le Skratch
4. Fats
5. Boul Noir
6. Drugstore
7. Montreal Pool Room
8. Bacci
9. El Jumanji
10. Rack 'n' Roll

While the top four slots in this category remain the same as last year, the up-and-comers are new, with the ultra-hip Boul Noir making a definite splash in fifth place. Good to see the lower St-Laurent fixture Montreal Pool Room, which has been around forever, making the list again, although that may have more to do with their legendary hot dogs than anything else.

Best Comedy Bar
1. Comedy Nest
2. Comedyworks
3. Comedy Zone

Best Standup Comedian
1. Sugar Sammy
2. Joey Elias
3. Derick Lengwenus
4. Lydia Lockett
5. Martin Matte
6. Louis-José Houde
7. Mike Paterson
8. Jeff O'Brian
9. Massimo
10. Bowser and Blue

Best Drug
1. Marijuana
2. Ecstasy
3. Cocaine
4. Alcohol
5. Mushrooms
6. Speed
7. Hash
8. Beer
9. GHB
10. LSD
Honourable mentions: Heroin • Caffeine • Crack • Viagra • Ketamine • Salvia Divinorum

What, cough syrup and Lysol-in-a-cup not good enough for you fancypants, la-di-da aristocrats? Chuggaluggin' mouthwash for a minty morning buzz too "declassé," there, Little Lord Fauntleroy? Well, if you're not gonna finish that tube of plastic model cement (ah, Tamiya... the glue-huffer's champagne!), feel free to pass it on over here. Hey, I can't feel my feet...