M Hey, how ya doing? This is the curator of the Un-Pop Festival and I just wanted to say yo, thank you so much to all the bands that called back, it's a crazy success, dude. We've got all 20 slots filled already. We're still accepting submissions because we want to get more venues together, but at this point we can only guarantee those first 20. But yo, how fuckin' rad is that, eh? All shows are going to be free, and yeah, of course, no registration fees for bands. We're asking any venues to help out. Anybody that can provide a space who wants to help out, you'll make all your money at the bar, it'll be free, the place will be packed, and we'll all rock and have a good time. ampkiller@gmail.com. Peace. Oh, and I wanted to add that I really like the Pop Montreal Festival. I appreciate what they do and I think they put on an awesome festival and do a wicked service to the community as well. I don't want to sound all hateful or anything. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

M Yeah, I'm calling about the Breastfeeders show. I am totally rocked out! This was sonic fury! Yet I need to add an addendum. We had a bit of a COCK SHOW toward the end of the show and I suspect I was sitting beside the parents of the performer, near the back on the second floor of Café Campus. It was very interesting to watch their facial complexions change, but they didn't budge till the end of the show. Even as that death metal song was playing. No budging at all. It was GOOD NUDITY but God, were they saddened. [BLEEP!]

M To the guy bitching about the Fondue DJs at the Green Room on Fridays. First off, do you even know what DJ means? Do you know anything about its history or how it came into being? It wasn't born with house and hip hop and it didn't always have to be tracks mixing seamlessly into each other. I love it when I hear the Strokes followed by Lee Perry followed by a Jimmy Smiths track. It's all about expression, dude - maybe that's too much for your iPod imposed, MTV-generation punk ass to grasp. These DJs do it for the love of music and not for the big bucks. Coolio? [BLEEP!]

M For the guy bitching about the Green Room DJs. If you're so good, maybe you should get up on the decks yourself and show us how much of a SUPERSTAR you are. Because I know it looks easy when Daniel Desnoyers does it on MusiquePlus, but it's actually a whole lot harder than that. Maybe you should get up there and show everybody instead of calling in to the Rant Line™ and bitching. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F This is a response to the total bozos dissing Fondue Friday at the Green Room. I'm Gillileo and I DJ at Fondue twice a month. If there's one thing that can be said about me as a DJ, it's that I totally DO NOT SUCK at mixing. I never have and I never will. If you think I'm not mixing back there, then I have reached my objective, because one should not be able to detect a good mix. God. And another thing, the quote-unquote McGill crowd - as one of the bozos so graciously put it - only start going to a night once it has been rocking with hotties regularly for months and they've finally caught word of it. And I don't blame people for checking it out - it's the only night in town where people just go nuts partying without a care in the world. As for the bozos, I suggest you get your panties out of the knot they're in and try having a little bit of fun for a change. [BLEEP!]

M To the guy who ranted about those young hip hop kids wearing those oversized T-shirts. Dude, I must say that I agree with you. I'm black myself and I hate hip hop to begin with, but I'm going to shed a little light on you. I lived in the States back in the '80s, I'm 36 now, and I was there when it first started. Remember Kris Kross from a few years ago, wearing the pants backwards? With these kids, it's like that. This year, the cap on their heads will be worn this way, next year it will be worn a different way. As for the long T-shirts, it depends on who wears them. I've seen some WHITE KIDS in them and they actually look pretty good. Peace. [BLEEP!]

M I just gotta ask Montreal, what is up with this MEDIEVAL and goth shit - the little dudes wearing all the BIG HEELS and eye makeup? Why? Could somebody explain this to me? [BLEEP!]

M Hi Montreal, I'm a hot, horny transvestite looking for other transvestites or transsexuals in this city. Anybody who knows where they hang out, could you get back to me? Thanks. [BLEEP!]

M I was just wondering if I'm the only one or if anyone else out there has ever smashed the HEAD of their own cock in with a small hammer? Just wondering. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum