by JOHNSON CUMMINS

Too many shows coming up to fit in any excess yakkin'. Tonight, Thursday, April 7, is action-packed, with Halifax's Holy Shroud, Ottawa's For the Mathematics and Fake Blood (ex-Cinema Chocolat) playing Electric Tractor. If Holy Shroud are anything like their old band North of America, better bring an abacus as you can expect some high-grade math rock. Hipster band Gris Gris will also be in town tonight, laying it down with the Sunday Sinners at L'Hémisphère Gauche. I've spilt enough ink about how much I love the Sunday Sinners, so just go and thank me later.

If you go down to the Village tonight, you may see tumbleweeds rolling across Ste-Catherine as its entire population of well-groomed men will be heeding the hoo-hoo disco call of Cher and Village People at the Bell Centre. Hey, wait a cotton-pickin' moment - didn't Cher do her farewell tour a couple of years back? Man, I don't know about you, but I think they don't play that "Believe" song enough.

On Friday night you can check out recent media darlings the Kills when they play with Scout Niblett at Café Campus. The Kills look great on glossy pages, and actually have the music to back it up. Mixing primal blues rhythms with Velvet Underground simplicity, this duo really earns cool points. They even do a Captain Beefheart cover, by cracky!

Remember when swing dancing was the new thing? That was hilarious, huh! Ex-ska kids dressed like Fonzie in a zoot suit and, uh, jitterbuggin'? Hoo-wee, I haven't laughed that much since the "cocktail nation" thingy. If you like to laugh and point, or if you've just scored some good acid and want to pretend that you've travelled back to the '40s, check out swing night at la Sala Rossa on Friday night.

For the people who like it hard and heavy, figuring out what to go to on Saturday night could give you a brain hemorrhage. Unfortunately, AIDS Wolf, I Can Put My Arm Back On You Can't and Discord of a Forgotten Sketch have cancelled their show at the Bunker. Bummer, as AIDS Wolf was planning to perform Mick Jagger's She's the Boss album in its entirety. Fans of Jagger's solo work are urged to keep their eyes on this column for any upcoming AIDS Wolf shows.

If you like a bit of Jesus Lizard and Cows mixed in with your heavy, psych-fuelled riff rock, you cannot miss the Donkeys when they will confuse the entire room at Casa del Popolo with Nutsak this Saturday. Also happening on Saturday is the Gearhead tour featuring Million Dollar Marxists and Turbo ACs at Foufounes. In the over-crowded genre of loud, fast rock 'n' roll, both of these bands know how to do it right.

Finally, a not-to-be-missed show this week would be Angels of Light, Akron/Family and Elizabeth Anka Vajagic at la Sala Rossa on Wednesday night. Angels of Light is led by ex-Swans guy Michael Gira, who also produced and released the CD of psych-folk-rockers Akron/Family, which is a stunner.

CAN YOU PUT YOUR HANDS IN YOUR HEAD? OH NO! jonathan.cummins@gmail.com

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