Dear Sasha: Why is porn legal and prostitution not? In other words, why is it illegal for a woman to be paid to fuck in person, but it's legal to be paid to fuck in front of a camera? The director is paying these people to fuck for him, why is that legal? I find it strange that a whole bunch of people (director, make-up artists, lighting people, camera people etc.) can profit off a woman's body, but if she tries to profit off it on her own exclusive terms, it's illegal. » Porn vs. Prostitution Puzzled

Dear Porn,
The only term I can come up with to describe the rationale behind the varying degrees of legality in sex work is "meta-incongruous." Let me explain:

Speaking to the last issue you bring up in your letter, I am reminded of a remark I once made to the Canadian artist Joanne Tod after she had painted me on a few occasions. When I went to one of her openings and saw what she - rightly, being an exceptional artist - charged for her paintings of me, I said, "Wow. You're going to make more money off my ass than I ever did." We both laughed at the hilarious yet galling irony that Joanne, through her talent and status in the art world, would profit off my body both in a more culturally permissible fashion and with greater financial reward than I did as a stripper.

That said, Joanne paid me generously for my time and gave me a painting, which I value greatly and love for many reasons, one of course being that, though I wouldn't, I could sell it for more money than the real version. Funny that it should take art to legitimize my flesh and increase my value. Now porn is certainly still not widely considered a noble or very creative choice of profession, but I agree that there is something odd about this being the only relatively unrestricted way in which a woman can sell sex.

I asked sex worker advocate Jenn Clamen to address the legal issues of your question. Here is what she said: "Hooking is technically legal; every activity that surrounds it, however, is not. You cannot communicate in public, including the use of public phones or cell phones, for the purposes of selling sex, live off the money you make selling sex, or work with a third party. Porn is different because people are paid to have sex with other performers, who are also being paid. It is art filmed for distribution, and it is considered a freedom of speech. The only things that are illegal in porn are working under 18 years of age, and bestiality, and things considered "obscene," but that is left to interpretation."

Does that make more sense? No, of course it doesn't. Morality, as it pertains to these things, is often absurd.

Dear Sasha: I'm a 21-year-old straight male and I've been sexually active with my girlfriend (my first and only partner to date) for about three years. My question is about condom breakage. We've never had a break - I think. After sex, we almost always notice a thick white substance not totally unlike my cum. She says it's from her but sometimes I'm concerned about breakage. Also, I get really freaked out when I feel like I filled the condom to the brim and there's only a small amount in it. » Concerned about Condoms

Dear Concerned,
In my experience, a broken condom actually tears quite significantly, sometimes disengaging and lodging in the vagina (I don't mean to add to your agitation; it's usually very easy to get it out).

The secretion that you see is undoubtedly from your girlfriend's vagina. Sometimes vaginal mucous can be white and somewhat chalky depending on where a woman's at during her cycle. To the best of my knowledge, nobody has ever succeeded in filling up a condom so much that it spills over, and sperm, no matter how youthful and robust you are, cannot shoot through an intact condom. No birth control is 100 per cent effective, but you do need to relax. Maybe your girlfriend would consider supplementing your current birth control method with oral contraceptives?

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