Dear Sasha: I've been going out with a guy for just over a year, and I've lived with him for just over six months. Recently, I came across a porn mag of his stashed secretly away, which I confronted him about, and which he adamantly justifies. I can't really scorn him for it because in my single days, I indulged in a bit of porn myself. My question is this: is it normal for men in serious relationships to indulge in pornography? » Confusion

Dear Confusion,
Yes, and women too, and sometimes even together. What's not normal, since you asked, is moving in with someone after you've known them for a mere six months and becoming disconcerted when you uncover unanticipated and innocuous details of their private sexual habits. I'm sincerely hoping you didn't expect him to stop masturbating, which means you also can't be the boss of how he does it. If you made it clear that your expectations of a serious relationship involved a moratorium on porn and he lied, then you have a right to be miffed, but my guess is that there's a lot you're going to learn about each other's sexual interests. I can only advise keeping an open mind.

Dear Sasha: I sometimes see "Girlfriend Experience" in the female escort ads. Does this mean sex without a condom? » David

Dear David,
I'm sure every escort has varying parameters for this service, but in umbrella terms, it means someone who will act out a girlfriend role - cuddling, kissing, maybe sleeping over. Since most escorts rely on their pussy and ass to work though, I'm going to guess that very few include condom-free on the menu.

Dear Sasha: Oh come on! The unwashed mob of drooling idiots have a hairy fit over a Bell Canada advertising pamphlet [with a medical illustration of a female body with the parts covered up, Sasha, March 3] that's obviously innocent and definitely tongue in cheek, and when La Senza opens a special store for pre-teens, nobody evens flinches. So what, it's perfectly fine to buy your 10-year old girl a thong but someone joking about how concerned some parents are is reason for a hate rally all the way to the Bell building? The more I hear these people rant, the more I think it's time to get seriously Darwinian over who should be eligible to live in society. » Alex Richard

Dear Alex,
I'm sure the parents who were reasonably shocked by the completely ambiguous and genuinely offensive ad that Bell mailed out to thousands of households would be just as unlikely to buy their 10-year-olds thongs, a garment that La Senza Girl doesn't actually carry, nor do they intend to. Perhaps you'd like to include unapprised reactionaries to your list of people who should be in line for Darwin's axe?

More on dildo safety

Some more in-depth information on glass dildos for Mata Harry. Levi Belber from Standard Glass contacted me after my deadline, but provided some more scientific insight that may put you at ease. Belber can only vouch for his own products, of course: "Glass is a versatile material," he wrote. "To the layman or laywoman, it can appear mysterious. Glass breaks when there is stress present. Stress is eliminated by what's called "annealing," which is a slow cooling of the finished pieces. This prevents cooling stress.

"Standard Glass anneals in a multi-thousand-dollar, computer-controlled cooling oven - very different than the annealing used through history, when these "museum pieces" [on the Womyn's Ware site they talk about glass museum pieces suddenly shattering for no apparent reason] may have been manufactured. Another source of stress is colour. To make coloured glass, metal oxides are dissolved into the liquid glass. This changes the physical properties of the glass. Chemists then adjust the mixture, so as to maintain compatibility with the clear glass. Standard Glass uses concentrated colour made in New Zealand. We rigorously test each colour we allow into our product line to assure it is completely compatible with our clear glass."

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