M Hey, this is J-Biz from Under Pressure. This is about Euphrates and the Masta Ace show. Euphrates were not cut off the bill at the last minute. Promo for the show has been on the streets for over a month and they were never on the bill - read the damn flyer. What actually happened was that another promoter wanted to do the Masta Ace show and booked groups before he confirmed the show and signed contracts. When Under Pressure got offered the show - key word being offered because we didn't STEAL it or outbid anyone, contrary to the rumours - we put on the opening acts that we thought were best suited to the bill. I'm not gonna repeat an opener before all other relevant groups have had a chance to play. We do these shows so Montreal has good, affordable hip hop shows and so that Canadian groups can play to a packed house. We spend hours in the freezing cold, putting up posters and flyers, so that these groups and the community it supports can have great shows. If you think there's any money to be made with a $10 door, you're crazy. Get your facts straight before you call in and bitch. Oh yeah, the next issue of Under Pressure magazine has a feature on Euphrates, so don't ever tell us that we disrespect our boys. [BLEEP!]

M This is SEAZ from Under Pressure, to the guy bitching about us disrespecting Euphrates. What do you know about respect? Your boys didn't get bumped and for your info your boys are mine also. Fact is, Euphrates played the next night at le Swimming and it wouldn't be fair to other Montreal groups not to get a chance to be on the bill and have another group play two nights in a row. Bitch about something relevant, like the lack of support for Canadian artists in Canadian magazines or the fact that promoters in other cities aren't bringing Montreal artists down to perform in their towns. Under Pressure has been a staple in promoting artists from across the country in Montreal, while always guaranteeing opening slots for local groups. Ever been to Under Pressure? Ever picked up the magazine? Ever listened to an Up North Trip compilation? Why don't you get your shit straight before you make yourself look more like an idiot? Who booked them on the bill? Who cut them from the bill? Know the answers? We are not going to repeat acts on the shows we do because they are our boys or because we work with them on stuff. This shit is about EQUAL REPRESENTATION, unlike what you will find in most cases, when promoters always put their friends on the bill and can't draw a line between being a promoter and a manager. Stop bitching and support your scene. Bet you bought a copy of the last big American hip hop album - how come you didn't invest that $20 into a Canadian artist, they need your money more? Oh yeah, hence the fucking $10 covers at the door of all our shows - to get you cheap fuckers who say you want to support "your boys" but still want to be on the guest list. Trust me, I sit at the door and hear it. Masta Ace in Toronto was $30, they made money. We're trying to make a community, we want to have full venues so people can get to know the artists whose music they would never pay for. Hope you shelled out the $7 the following night to see Euphrates at Le Swimming. [BLEEP!]

M Hey there, this is Roger from Dead Messenger - the band formerly known as Rhythm Mercenaries. Anyway, I'm just calling because my fellow bandmate Ted told me that "Genesis Explosion" by the Dead Brain Cells is in a cell phone commercial. What's up with that, man? Hey, Jeff, are you making money off of this? Is somebody getting royalties? Jeff, are you doing that? It's Rog, man, what the fuck's up? A cell phone commercial? That's just weird. [BLEEP!]

M This is John from the John School Dropouts leaving a message to the guy that I beat the shit out of at Burger King. I'm sorry I had to do that, man, but you were running your mouth, running your mouth. So, anyway, I do feel bad - it's not the proper way to deal with anything, with violence - but I was really hammered so I had poor judgement. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that if you want to come to the next John School Dropouts show and punch me in the face on stage in front of the whole audience, you're more than welcome to. [BLEEP!]

M This rant is for Al South and Roger Argent. You know who you are, you little motherfuckers. I left a fucking rant about two weeks ago about this chick that I saw at Atwater and, like, we EXCHANGED GLANCES - just like the other dude that you just printed last fucking week, right? - and you don't submit me but you'll submit that other motherfucker. Are you playing favourites or something here? Come on, if my rant wasn't interesting enough, neither was his. So go fuck yourself, you TWO FUCKING FAGGOTS. I bet you fucking suck each other off, you fuckers. Bye. [BLEEP!]

M Hi, I'm the guy that found the fish stick in his pubes. I just wanna let you know that the photos that I'd taken have been analyzed and it's been determined that the fish stick in question is actually my PENIS. So, I guess I won't be getting any coupons. But I still have the pictures if anyone's interested. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum