by KEVIN LAFOREST, JOANNE LATIMER and SARAH ROWLAND

Bride & Prejudice

Bandwagon Bollywood fans can't seem to say Aishwarya Rai's name without a) mispronouncing it and b) drooling. So Bride & Prejudice seemed like the perfect opportunity to see what all the fuss was about. And yeah, I suppose India's biggest movie star is okay - if you're into that whole ravishing-exotic-beauty thing.

Here she stars in Gurinder Chadha's Bombay treatment of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. In this cross-cultural Indo-musical version, Rai plays Lalita Bakshi, one of four sisters - all of whom are card-carrying babes in their own rights. The Bakshi girls' traditional world is turned upside down when Balraj Bingley and his rich best friend Will Darcy (Martin Henderson, who resembles John Ritter's long lost romantic lead twin) whisk through their small Indian village. True to the film's inspiration, the eldest sibling immediately falls for Bingley. Lalita, on the other hand, wouldn't love Darcy if he were the last arrogant American millionaire on Earth. Rai is irresistible as she stubbornly protesteth too much, whips out her Paula Abdul moves and changes into a different stunning sari every five minutes. Poor Darcy doesn't stand a chance, and predictably falls hard for her, as does every viewer sitting in the theatre.

At times bordering on a sensory overload, Chadha's spectacular follow-up to Bend It Like Beckham is an explosion of colour, song and dance that can barely be contained on screen. If ever there was a film itching to burst onto a Broadway, or Bollyway, stage, this is it. (SR)

5x2

François Ozon's eighth feature offers five snapshots of a relationship between two characters, Marion (luminous Valeria Bruni Tedeschi) and Gilles (obnoxious Stéphane Freiss). Beginning with a counsellor reading the terms of their divorce agreement and ending with their first meeting on a sunny Italian beach, the movie's supposed aim is to go back and reveal what made these people get together in the first place. But all we really see is that the couple was doomed from the get-go.

The reverse-chronology gimmick has been used many times, most recently in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. But the characters in that film grew more complex and moving as their love story backtracked. Whereas, the protagonists of 5x2 are one-dimensional bores from start to finish (or finish to start).

Gilles is an inconsiderate prick who falls asleep on his wedding night, deliberately misses the birth of his child and ends up raping his wife after driving her to leave him. Marion's a peach, but it's hard to care for a woman who naïvely puts up with such abuse. There's an attempt to even the playing field by having her commit an indiscretion of her own, but she clearly remains the victim.

I didn't know Ozon (8 Women and Swimming Pool) had such a routine and forgettable picture in him. He manages to plug in a few of his trademarks, most notably kitschy pop music and people with flexible sexual boundaries. In the end, though, these scenes from a marriage don't add up to anything profound. Spouses lie, cheat, fight and, eventually, break up. Stop the presses! (KL)

Rory O'Shea Was Here

This endearing film set in Ireland is about a foul-mouthed, loveable rogue named Rory O'Shea (James McAvoy) who doesn't let his disability keep him down - imagine Colin Farrell without the use of his arms and legs. Rory can still curse, charm and challenge anyone who tries to limit his life to cripple-appropriate activities.

Arriving at a new institute, the paralyzed young man meets his sidekick, Michael (Steven Robertson), who is enthralled by Rory's cheeky wit. The workers at the "home" become taxed by the twosome's antics, but at the same time, resist the boys' plan to get their own apartment in Dublin. Nonetheless, the duo leave the safe but stultifying institution and head to town. They hire a pretty girl to play nurse, Siobhan (Romola Garai), who ends up making and then breaking their happy home.

Director Damien O'Donnell (Heartlands) is note-perfect when handling the love triangle, but most of the credit goes to the lead. Playing Rory, McAvoy (Wimbledon) can only use two fingers and his body must be believably stiffened by cerebral palsy. He does a wonderful job with the physical demands of the role, not to mention the mental demands of Rory's bottled rage from, among other things, his dampened crush on Siobhan. Rory O'Shea was here, yes, but it's McAvoy who has arrived. (JL)

Bride & Prejudice, 5X2 and Rory O'Shea Was Here
open Friday, Feb. 25

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