M This is for the little boy who's been paying his dues since 1994 in the Montreal music scene and is now upset because his band didn't get named in SPIN magazine. Buddy, if you wanna know what it's like to be under-rated, under-valued and totally ignored, try being a JAZZ musician or a CLASSICAL musician. Get real, get a life. Don't believe the hype. [BLEEP!]

F In response to the guy who said Pony Up! are just some CUTE GIRLS who haven't paid their dues. Well, I haven't played in any touring bands and I'm not a musician either but I think you're probably just some BITTER JEALOUS OLD DUDE who hasn't made it in the most unpredictable business out there. You're too wrapped up in yourself to encourage some young, talented and very intelligent women in the Montreal music scene. Well, they're here and they're very successful - more successful than you. Get over it. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, yo, yo, yo - what the fuck? - yo. I was all hyped up to go see Euphrates open up for Masta Ace and the motherfuckers got cut off the bill at the last minute. What up with that? That was some mad disrespect. Can somebody give me some introspection on that shit, some background information, to let me know why my boys got bumped off? Peace. [BLEEP!]

F Thanks to the caller looking for the lady MCs. I'm a female hip hop DJ who prides myself on playing as many good female MC tracks as I can and I would love to work with some live female MCs here in Montreal. So see you Tuesdays at 90 de la Gauchetière East at 8 p.m. [BLEEP!]

F This is for the person who asked about where 2 Live Crew was playing. Their show was at Ronnie's in Pointe Claire. Sorry that you missed the show and you are so right, it wasn't advertised enough. It was the second time that 2 Live Crew performed at Ronnie's and the place is always very crowded. I guess next time they will have to play in a bigger place. I'm sure that they will come back to Montreal because they always seem to have a good time here. After their show on Thursday, they were PARTYING WITH EVERYONE at Ronnie's. So next year, when they come back, I will call the Rant Line™ to let you know. [BLEEP!]

M Hey, never mind Montreal's music scene - or Canada's for that matter. The ultimate music scene is Britain's. I just watched the Brit Awards and it blew all the tacky North American awards shows to smithereens. The Scissor Sisters rocked - a band that lovingly declared themselves British after being embraced over there when no one here would listen. Then there was Franz Ferdinand, surely the best band of the decade. And then to see the legendary Siouxsie Sioux getting some kudos and actually having fun. Wow! Here's to the next Brit invasion! [BLEEP!]

F Hello. I would just like to say that I've been seeing a lot of BAR BRAWLS lately - people fighting in the streets - and I'd like to suggest a new form of street fighting. It would be called dance fighting and it would involve a lot of jazz hands being stuck into people's eyes. I want to see break dance battles in the street, West Side Story brought into the modern world, ass-kicking and head spins and all that shit. Dance your fights, motherfuckers. Peace out. [BLEEP!]

M I really appreciate the fine ladies you got on the back covers there for the American Apparel but how about a little more colour? How about some DARK SISTERS? Some dark Indian ladies? Some darkness? I mean, it's cool to have Brazilian and Greek chicks and all - it's fantastic - they're hot and they're hot and they're hot, but come on, some darkness, man. Darkness. Yeah. Yeah. [BLEEP!]

F Hey, BALD BUDDY, thinking that there are less than a million of us pretty girls with CUTE BOOTS getting on the metro at Berri-UQÀM, you're funny. It's the Rant Line™, not the pick-up line. Have some balls and just say hi in real life. Bye. [BLEEP!]

F I would like to say that I'm really fed up with certain girls, certain Marys, who never have time to do anything with their girlfriends because they have boyfriends and keep on finding different excuses, like their stomach hurts or they have DIARRHOEA or they're tired or they haven't seen their boyfriends or they have to do something with their boyfriends and/or they need to spend time with their parents. I'm really tired of these girls and I think they should all go fuck themselves. Thank-you very much. [BLEEP!]

M Hi. I was just in the shower and I found FISH STICKS in my pubes. It was disturbing. I don't know how the fish sticks got in my pubes but I did take pictures. I don't know if there's coupons or something that I can get or if people wanna see the pictures, but I don't know, I was disgusted. I know how that girl feels now. What's next? [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum