by MARK SLUTSKY

The naysayers who claimed a zebra could never best a thoroughbred racehorse will have to eat their words after seeing Racing Stripes, a new film that proves them very wrong. Those who've never really dedicated any attention to the matter will probably be less affected by this kids' film, a CGI-meets-real-life extravaganza in the manner of Babe, starring real animals with computer-animated mouths.

The whole startling tale begins when a baby zebra (voiced by that Frankie Muniz kid from Agent Cody Banks) is left behind somewhere in Kentucky by a travelling circus. He's soon found by horse trainer Nolan Walsh (Bruce Greenwood), who's haunted by the loss of his wife in a riding accident. They begin a passionate affair... if only! Actually, Nolan's daughter Channing (Hayden Panettiere) becomes attached to the little fella, whom she promptly names Stripes, giving the title of the film an interesting double meaning, at least to viewers sensitive to those kinds of subtleties.

Stripes settles in nicely with his hilarious barnyard buddies, voiced by Dustin Hoffman, Whoopi Goldberg, Snoop Dogg and Joe Pantoliano, who plays what press materials describe as a "deranged big-city pelican" - you know, a big-city pelican! Soon our hero decides he wants to run races like those snooty horses next door, and somehow, with the help of some pluck, charm and hard work, he... well, I won't give it away. But the title of the film, to return to that, does provide a clue.

Now, in what could have been a perfectly boring and forgettable Disney-style kids' movie, director Frederik Du Chau graces us with more shit jokes than really seems appropriate. The interesting thing is, with the variety of animals on display, Racing Stripes really goes to town with the different types of shit that get flung around: bird shit from the air, horse shit on the ground, you get the idea. It gets to the point where it's hard to watch, especially the way the two CGI horsefly characters (voiced by Steve Harvey and David Spade) revel in it, rolling around, having a ball. Horrible. If you don't like kids, by all means take them to see Racing Stripes.

Racing Stripes opens Friday, Jan. 14

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