M What's up, everybody? This is Roger from the Rhythm Mercenaries. I just heard that some asshole shot Dimebag Darrell and killed him while he was on stage playing, man. What kind of a world do we live in where someone gets on stage and kills a man while he's playing guitar? Sad day for rock 'n' roll, man. Rest in peace. [BLEEP!]

M CHOM FM are CONFORMIST pigs. They're all about Huey Lewis and the News and any 15-minute cock rock band that don't mean shit. A heavy metal guitar legend was taken away from us today in one of the most tragic, sadistic, VILE incidents ever. The icon Dimebag Darrell is gone. I can't believe it. But not only does this stupid corporate radio station casually, jovially make a snide remark, they get the band's name wrong - it's Damageplan - as well as his name. Not only do they ignore the fact that he was one of the most brilliant guitar players in the world, they make a mockery of his death by not even giving it the respect it deserves. Meanwhile, the Damageplan show in Montreal on December 2 was absolutely amazing - even though that radio station never even acknowledged that it happened, even though there were 1,500 people whose world was rocked hard that night. [BLEEP!]

M So, hip hop is uniquely American and we don't need it in Canada? I guess the same goes for jazz, blues, rock 'n' roll, soul, R&B, funk. While we're at it, the sub-genres of rock - punk, industrial, Goth, black metal, all metals. Idiot. I'd like to hear what Maestro Fresh Wes has to say about your point of view. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, what up? This is going out to the guy talking about "Fuck New York" and how if you wanna listen to real hip hop, check out Dead Prez. Dude, you just said that all these "fake thug R&B faggots" are slaves to the goddam commercial capitalist system - what do you think Dead Prez are on, bitch? Columbia. A major label. And they're a bunch of racists, anyway. Oh, and one of the guys is from New York. Dude, go learn something. [BLEEP!]

M Ghetto. The definition of ghetto is not gangster. It's not cool. One word: Cartierville. Ghetto. Idiots. [BLEEP!]

M This is in response to the ill-informed Verdun 3rd Avenue caller. I've lived on that street for four years now and all of that stuff is gone. There are no rapists, there are no murderers and all of those bitch ho's are gone too. Maybe if she cleaned her windows, she might see the changes. The biggest thing we have now is an influx of Asian immigrants. Big deal. It just means we don't have to go all the way to Chinatown to get anything good anymore. Ciao. [BLEEP!]

M To the girl who thinks that 3rd Avenue in Verdun is ghetto. Well, I live on 4th and there's a few things you forgot. Such as wife beaters, 16-year-old boys who think they're living in Compton, babies crying from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m., junkettes and junkers on the porches cussin' out everyone who walks by, dealers, cops every other day, 10-year-old kids bummin' for smokes. But, hell, I think they got this stuff in Little Burgundy, Pointe St-Charles, the East end, St- Henri, Parc-Ex and so on and so forth. There's ghetto all around. That's what this society is: it's ghetto with a couple of people standing on top, laughing at us. If you don't understand this by now, I feel bad for you. But the revolution's comin', you'll see it on the TV screen sooner or later. [BLEEP!]

M I'm so fed up of hearing about who has the better ghetto in Montreal. Well, you know what? The most original ghetto in Montreal is… are you ready… the GAY DISTRICT, Papineau, of course. We were the first ghetto ever in North America where all us young guys and girls hang around - the gay community. I mean, who cares about Little Burgundy, Parc Extension and all that crap. Come on down to the gay ghetto where nobody gets HURT. [BLEEP!]

F I'm calling because I just found out that Sami - voted number one bartender by the Mirror Readers' Poll - just got FIRED from Blue Dog. I just wanna tell the manager of Blue Dog that she just lost the best bartender in this city. [BLEEP!]

M This is Sami from Blue Dog, your number one bartender. I'm calling to say that I got fired on Wednesday because of a conflicting vision I had with the bar's management. It sucks hardcore because I loved working there. I loved the bar staff, I loved the DJs and I loved the diversity of the clientele. Now that I'm no longer working there, I feel like I just took a HUGE DUMP I've been holding in for four years. I just wanna say thanks for all the support that I've come across. What's next for me? I'm gonna smoke a fat doobie and chill until New Year's Eve - which is when I next get behind a bar at the Kops Krew celebration. See y'all there. Respect. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum