My boyfriend decided a few months ago (and he is the one with a good private Internet connection) that he would rather see only nudie pics not actual sex. His logic was that it's not sex, just pictures, so the harm is less than if they are forced into the evil porn world. (Is the world of porn so evil?). I want organic, fair-trade porn, darn it. What do you think? Dumb logic? Dumb concerns? » Principled and Horny
Dear P and H,
It's completely fair to want access to as many products as you can get that don't have misery and greed attached to them. As a consumer, it is my belief that you should be able to investigate the background of all that you buy. The good news is, unlike so many industries, the porn industry doesn't have the benefit of obscuring regulations and codes (that piece on the beef industry in November's Vanity Fair was chilling, was it not?), which means people can say all sorts of things about it without lawsuits being flung around.
The bad news is, since lots of the negative information that is relayed is biased, sensationalized and moralistic, it makes it difficult for insiders to really openly discuss and change the issues that touch them without fear of being misrepresented, and for consumers to get the real story. As Violet Blue writes in her excellent book, The Ultimate Guide to Adult Videos, "I'm bothered that the media in general continue to paint virtually everything about porn in bold, negative strokes. I've long been suspicious of those media outlets, both print and broadcast, that condemn porn viewers and performers for their lifestyle choices - yet draw a hungry reader and viewership with ‘shocking' details about the porn industry itself. Whenever media cover the adult video industry or viewership, it seems to me they wind up looking guilty of the same exploitation of which they accuse the industry and porn consumers."
I would start off by finding out a bit about pornography from people like Violet Blue. I disagree with a lot of her film recommendations, but you'll get a sense of what you're looking for from her descriptions, and her chapter on resources is terrific. You may also find reading a few issues of Adult Video News (AVN) somewhat illuminating. My girlfriend tells me this helped her understand porn better, though it's fundamentally approving of the industry, being a trade publication. You can get Blue's book online at www.goodvibes.com, along with a plethora of other porn positive tomes, and AVN at www.avn.com.
If your boyfriend can't get past his fear of exploitation but is still itching to see some live action, may I direct him to my friend Seska's site (www.seska.com), where she and her long-term, loving husband James do a live sex show every Tuesday night. I mention Seska frequently, because I know her, I respect her, and am certain that she enjoys her work.
I will also recommend a site called www.thebestporn.com for online porn reviews. Ryan, who works for this site, recommends browsing listings by how "entertaining" they are, one of the many scores they look at when reviewing a site. You can find that at www.thebestporn.com/site_listings.html and choosing "Entertaining Sites" in the Other Interest category.
Mind you, one site that pisses me off that consistently rates high scores on all review sites is run by an Australian photographer named Abby Winters. As www.abbywinters.com claims, "We find our models in all sorts of places, but we don't go to stripper agencies - in fact, we don't use agencies at all. We shoot normal girls you see every day. No skanks allowed. Our models are young and natural, healthy and happy. We don't photograph drug addicts, prostitutes or ‘exotic dancers.'" Wow, way to make sweeping generalizations about strippers and porn stars to set yourself apart.
