M I just wanna say that the music scene in Montreal right now is AWESOME. We've had so many bands play here recently like Megadeth, Van Halen, Muse - to name a few. There are loads of bands coming to Montreal right now! The scene is awesome and I hope it keeps up for a long time! [BLEEP!]

M Goddamn goths. You're wondering where these people come up with this? There's only one song and one band that goth actually came from and that was "At War With Satan" by Venom. [BLEEP!]

F So you guys are complaining that you can't find a good club to go clubbing at? Well, try every Friday night at Club Extreme to be in a good atmosphere with non-snotty people. A'ight? Peace out. [BLEEP!]

F Yeah, I was at the Green Day show a couple of weeks ago and I got really DRUNK at the after-party. I woke up in the Royal Vic the day after and I just want to thank whatever angel it was that brought me to the hospital because I don't remember anything. But I woke up unrobbed, unhurt and, most importantly, UNRAPED. That's fucking cool. Thanks, guys. [BLEEP!]

M Yo, you stupid fuck, no one has complained about Montreal not having hip hop shows. You talk about fucking Lloyd Banks and don't even mention J-Live, Brother Ali, Beastie Boys, Talib Kweli, K-OS and so on. You fucking commercial sell out. You don't know shit about hip hop. [BLEEP!]

F I hate Lloyd Banks. Hate, hate Lloyd Banks! You wanna talk about bringing rap and hip hop to Montreal, I'm sorry, but that's the worse possible example you could give because he is what is wrong with rap and hip hop. Everything that comes out of that man's mouth is a load of garbage that puts down women and talks about BLING that he doesn't even have. Hip hop in Montreal has a whole different kind of existence than anywhere else in North America. Anyone who's keeping it real here knows that. [BLEEP!]

M This rant is for all the Quebec BLUES BANDS out there. Please, please refrain from playing any more blues. You're terrible. Stop. You're killing the love, you're killing the soul, Al Green does not need you to play "Take Me to the River" one more time. Stop and let everything be in peace. Please, I implore you. [BLEEP!]

M Good evening, boys and girls. Jason Nightmare has invaded the Rant Line™ - and I have a few things I need to get off my chest. Number one, Quebec is becoming the biggest QUEER CAPITAL of Canada. Queer-bec. They're everywhere. You either get assimilated with them or be destroyed - because they're taking over. Now they're allowed to get married! Number two, to the woman who says there is nowhere to dance anymore because everybody just goes there to stand and look at you, all dirty: honey, that's what clubs are all about. It's just a way to pick up people and have fun with them. Clubs are finished - today it's home parties. And the third thing I can't stand is DJs. They're big jerks and they're gonna be replaced by ROBOTS in a few years time from what I read on the Internet. So what's the point of having DJs? That's all I've gotta say. Jason Nightmare is back. [BLEEP!]

F I'd like to rant about UQÀM taking over the downtown area and kicking people out of L'X right out into the street - and then being hypocrites and saying that they want to help out the community. They just STABBED the culture of our youth and future in the heart. We're gonna make it after all, but why is it so hard? [BLEEP!]

M Hi, I'm a masturbating midget and I just want to send kudos out to whoever is laying down STENCILS all over the Montreal core and playing with street signage. Has anybody else noticed this? The zippers on Parc, the plug in front of Pistol, owls and surveillance cameras - crazy shit. Keep it up whoever you are, RW. Cheers. [BLEEP!]

M I'm calling about the guy who's got the W from the Warshaw sign. The Société de développement du boulevard St-Laurent is interested in having it. We have all the other letters. So you can call me back. Etienne at 286-0334. Thank you. [BLEEP!]

F Hello, my name is Zoe and I'm also calling on behalf of Jennifer, for the boy who believes that strip clubs are not sinful enough. Well, to let you know, the sin is not at the strip clubs, it's at the MASSAGE PARLOURS. We work at Octopussy and you should come and see us. We can get really, really dirty if the price is right. So come pay us a visit, that's Octopussy, Zoe and Jennifer. [BLEEP!]

M I was just reading in the Rant Line™ that somebody was looking for a butt plug for their girlfriend and I am CURIOUS. Why would somebody want a butt plugger to plug up your butt? Because if I'm missing out on something for my girlfriend then I need to know. So please explain. [BLEEP!]

Next week: Open forum