by CHRIS BARRY

Name: Karim

Nickname: Pussy King

Age: 19

Occupation: Strip club caller

Bio: This suave and sophisticated St-Laurent resident was first introduced to the glamorous world of strip club calling by one of his friends a year and a half ago. Now a permanent fixture on the corner of Drummond and Ste-Catherine, Karim says he took the job "because I wanted to charm people. I'm self-taught, you know. I created most of my lines myself."

A few of Karim's choice original lines: "Come on in, sir, touching is not a sin." "Less walking and more spanking, you'll be enjoying." "It's all about the lesbians." "Don't be shy, they've got the beaver for your fever." "In your car you've got horsepower, but upstairs we've got whore power!"

One reason why strip club calling is not the choice job you probably think it is: Montreal winters. Karim says he's done plenty of 14-hour shifts standing outside in minus-48 Celsius weather.

Karim's technique to get married men to go upstairs: "They tell me, ‘No, I can't come in, I've got a wife.' And I say, ‘Congratulations, I'm sure you have a fridge at home but you also eat at restaurants, right? So what's the difference?' Oh, and I like this one too: ‘The wife is like the brakes of a car, when they start screaming too much it's time to change.'"

Do religious zealots regularly cry "scum" when they pass him by on the street? "Uh, sometimes they pass and they go, ‘No touching, it's a sin,' and then they go away. One time I sent a priest upstairs though."

Is his gig harder to do during periods when he knows it's not necessarily the cream of the crop dancing upstairs? Absolutely. "If you don't believe in what you're doing enough, people see it and they won't believe in you either."

Has anyone ever come out of the club and given him grief, claiming false advertising? "Yeah, I get people like that sometimes. But usually it's because they got upstairs and didn't want to pay the cover. That's why they come back down. They don't want to look bad so they say that my place looks bad."

One story from the trenches: "One time I got this group of American kids, maybe five guys and six girls to come inside. Then a little while later these two girls rush out actually crying, telling me they just saw their daddy with tits in his mouth and it wasn't their mother's. I tell you, the father came running out pretty quick after that."

Hobbies: Clubbing.

Musical preferences: Techno.

Favourite film of all time: Scarface.

Last book read: "Three years ago, in high school, but I can't remember what."

Words of wisdom: "You can't turn a ho into a housewife."

Comments? dimwit@openface.ca